A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Let's face it. I have trouble keeping a date. Maybe because I'm deaf and he's hearing, communicating is difficult. Or maybe it because I'm ugly, and I tried hard to pretty up. Maybe I gave up too soon after I've been trying too much or too little. I'm not a gold digger, nor rich. I'm not into competition, cause I hate competition and I never win. I'm not into fwb, or one night stand. I'm not skilled at dating. I just want to get married and have kids. Is that too much to ask??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): This is OP here:
Great! Everything is all about competitions. This sucks. May the next girl wins. I can't even compete a skinny, intelligence, beautiful girls that that get the guys. I give up. It like a car dealer telling me someone else have better offer for car deal. know what I said? Let them have it. I will let girls have a guy, because if I'm not worth anything to a guy, and I see no point in competition. I had several dates and exes that told me they wished they have chosen me instead.
I just want marriage and children, is never too much to ask. Not for me, it isn't. I don't care if a guy has a dime or a dollar in his pocket. I don't care what he looks like or he got a bigger package. I don't have standards when it comes to men. I didn't even care how old they are.
I'm getting old and hate being alone. I don't want competition. I just want a guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Actually yes it is too much to ask. Everything else is fine.
But if you're going out searching for "the one", a guy to get married and have kids with, then you're just going to be disappointed because you're skipping the whole wanting to date thing. You have an agenda, you want to date so you can judge whether a guy is suitable for marriage or not.
You're putting too much pressure on yourself and your date and you're missing out on the fun of dating.
Get rid of this notion of finding the one and look for a guy that you can have some spending time with and dating. Look for a guy like and just date them. Don't put rules or conditions on it, don't judge the guy on his long term prospects, judge only on whether you'd like to meet him again soon. Don't think any further ahead than that. No guy will ever be able to immediately live up to your expectations of marriage material. You'll be too scrupulous and even the most minor flaw you see will put you off. No guy can live up to that so soon. It's too much to expect from anyone. So you're not giving him time to get to know you.
Get rid of that "I never win, I'm too ugly" attitude it doesn't help, it's a big turn off and it's just not true either. Of course you can win but you have to compete to win, that means not giving up. Plus you're not ugly, I don't need to see you to tell you that you wouldn't be getting dates in the first place if you were ugly.
Just go out and have fun, get rid of your expectations and then you'll be able to relax and enjoy getting to know a guy. Marriage and stuff will come as a natural progression of dating but seriously learn to walk before you run.
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