A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of four months left for a business trip to another state on Sunday. Everything was normal and he said he couldn't wait to see me this weekend. We usually communicate daily. However, he hasn't reached out once and all of my texts and calls have gone unanswered, although he hasn't blocked me. I've only reached out a few times so it's not like I'm bombarding him. During the last text, I told him I felt worried and disrespected with his lack of communication. He landed this morning and still no update. Do I show up to his house or let it go? We've only been together for four months (we see one another twice a week). The anxiety is overwhelming. It's painful, but I don't want to give him any satisfaction. He's 31 and I can't believe he could treat me with such disrespect. Any advice?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (6 October 2019):
 This relationship is fairly new. Yes it's horrible what he done but I think you've made matters worse by sending that last text which I gather was the last of many attempts. All I can say is, take what dignity you have left and move on. Don't show up at anyone's house (please for the love of God, don't do that), don't try to call, don't try to text. Don't put yourself in that position. Take your loss and walk hon.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2019): OP, the only thing that I might add to a list of very good answers is this: pehaps he lost an important client, and got sacked by his employer, for that blunder. He would naturally be hurt, mad, grieving, and uncertain of his fianances and future. He would justifiably be very embarrassed by losing a good job, but to not contact you is just lack of respect toward you. Now let me add that you should listen to the words of Wise Owl, to not be ruled by your emotions! At 4 months in, this man is still a stranger, to you! If my scenario did occur, he may spin a sad tale of unjust firing, by an unfair employer, and some con men are so convincing, that they can lure a compassionate lady, into taking on supporting him, lending money to him etc etc. We now live in a world in which we should no longer think, Oh, that could never happen to me! People who think that way have a name, to describe them: VICTIM! Pray for wisdom, temper compassion with logic and common sense. Also, demand proper respect, from any man! Xx
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A
female
reader, AddisonMae +, writes (5 October 2019):
It sounds like he doesn't have the courage to dump you to your face, I'm sorry :-(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2019): Ask if you could plan a double trip together next time he has business, after his work, or in between, see if you can turn it into a romantic break. This will give you some insight.
He may flatly refuse.
Get annoyed at the suggestion.
Start with the'You don't trust me'
Make excuses
Or say' what a great idea, let's make it a special trip next time.
This can go both ways
Or do you need some insight into your own behaviour, are you bugging him phoning and texting all the time when he is trying to concentrate on work. Are you too needy and pestering driving him away. Do you respect his work commitments.
Hope it works out.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 October 2019):
 Nope, don’t do anything.
You’ve messaged him and he hasn’t replied, stop trying to chase after him! It’s on HIM to explain himself and if he doesn’t then block him and move on with your life, don’t waste your time messaging him again.
The ONLY logical explanation here is that he lost his phone. What other reason would you accept for him not replying in 5 days? No one on this earth is too busy to send a couple of messages per day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2019): Here's how I see it. Before you decide to do anything, ask him what's up!
I suggest that you don't be confrontational, or too emotional. Just tell him, you only tried to contact him a few times; and he didn't even show you the courtesy of a response. You got dead-air the whole time he was gone! So, what's-up?
You're only human, so your insecurities will kick-in; because this is a really new relationship. You don't truly know him that well. Some of his shady-ways may just be coming to the surface.
Listen to his explanation...or excuse. Try to be objective. Mull over his explanation and determine if it's feasible, lame, or an insult to your intelligence. Don't be too influenced by your emotions; because you won't use discernment. You'll gloss it over, and dismiss it. Even if it stinks to high-heaven!
If it doesn't sit well, don't hold-on to him until you're in too deep. If you're already in too deep, you both got a problem!!! You're only four months in. You're still getting to know each other, and developing trust. He should at least cut you some slack, and earn your trust.
He may have ghosted you because he's feeling smothered; or he just turned-off his phone to stay focused on business.
Worst-case scenario, it wasn't just a business trip. I'll refrain from any further speculation; I'll let you be the judge when he gets back to you with an explanation.
Reserve your feelings for now. You have to hear him out first, then decide. If it stinks, kick him to the curb. From then on, all he should hear is the sound of things slamming shut!!! Your turn to be a ghost...for good!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 October 2019):
 No, don't demean yourself by turning up at his house … what is that going to achieve for you other than a bucket full of humiliation.
Turning up at his house will also validate his treatment of you, he will be able to say to others "crazy bitch cant take a hint and turned up at my house"
So my advise to you is to block his number, block him on social media and be thankful it only took 4 months for him to show his true colours.
I echo Honeypie, block, delete and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2019):
 Do you show up at his house? And do what? Stand there tapping your foot with a rolling pin under your arm? Waiting for an explanation?
No.
You DECIDE all on your OWN if you will ACCEPT this or not. If this is a DEAL BREAKER for you, you BLOCK, DELETE and move on.
He went 5 days with not so much as a hi, and I get.. people can be busy with work (it was a business trip) bot not a good morning or before bed call or text? No one is THAT busy.
UNLESS he LOST his phone I don't really SEE a good reason for his behavior. And that COULD be a reason (many people do NOT write down people's numbers anymore or memorize them so he could perhaps have that as an "excuse") THOUGH... if he lost his phone... wouldn't he replace it and import his contact list?
Yeah, I'm sorry to say I would decide that this is a no-go. Block, delete and move on.
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