A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why is my boyfriend doing this? should I break up with him?before my birthday, my boyfriend and i talked about going away for my birthday.(we talked about it for weeks, we both seemed really excited). but a week before my birthday we got into an argument but we made up a few days after.. and everything was back to normal. when it was getting close to my birthday i asked my boyfriend where and when are we going, he said he doesn't think is a good idea to go away cos we made up not long ago...wtf? and if we did go he'd probably just sit there stare at me. wtf?anyways we didn't go. he sent me flowers and a card saying how much he loved me instead. and now is valentines day..we've been talking about it for weeks too and he just told me last week he wants a break from me to think.. and besides hes working on valentines day but hes got a surprise for me.he told me the surprise was him turning up at my door step on valentines day..but he didnt even come and he didnt go to work either..he said we will celebrate valentines day tommorow.why is he doing this?? am so confused and hurt:( i love him so much.please help?? thanks..xx
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female
reader, Spendy +, writes (3 March 2011):
Spendy is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks..xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): I would be pissed. If a platonic friend did this to me, I would be pissed. This guy is stringing you along and you are eating it up. Since when do you announce a surprise the day before hand? Stop holding out hope for this guy.It sounds like he's conflicted. He has intentions to respect you, but when it comes down to acting on the desire, he fails. He 's scared of hurting your feelings face to face, but he doesn't care enough about them to avoid hurting you in real life. You should face that fact and dump him now before he walks all over you. I've had friends flake in a major way because it was more important for them to give lip service about what they want to do rather than actually come through on what they plan. For instance, a friend walked out of a movie we went to because she got involved in a text message her boyfriend sent her. She left the theater to talk to him on the phone and never came back. It wasn't an emergency, she just felt that my relathionship with her was less important than her relationship with this guy. Unflattering as that is to me, it was the unfortunate truth. She could have at least had the decency not to waste my evening.I told her: "When you decide you really want to spend time with me, you can contact me." I didn't contact her after that. Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean you should tolerate that sort of disrespect. If he's your boyfriend, you should especially NOT tolerate that sort of treatment.If you give him another chance, he will do it again. Honestly, you should dump him first and move on with your life. At least you would do him the favor of being direct and truthful.
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A
female
reader, Didi O  +, writes (15 February 2011):
Oh Wow. Thats awful of him. well I don't think the situation is out of hand yet. There may be hope but you must proceed with caution. he's taking you for granted for sure, but the best thing is not to confront him, infact since he's asked you for space. why not give him a lot of space and get busy with your own life for now. reconnect with girlfriends and get busy with activities you have not attended to while spending time with him. Guys get a bit overwhelmed by too much love, feel smothered and a lot of men don't like to be told what to do. When they feel they are being pressured into doing things they shut down instead of doing it. My ex is just like that. when i asked him what we were doing for my birthday and valentines day he grumbled that he didn't like being put on the spot. but would you believe that when i stopped calling him and started No CONTACt, I got three birthday gifts, clothes, perfume and jewerly and a bouquet of flowers for my Valentines day. give him the chance to do it his way and trust he will give you a gift on his own.However, Not giving you a gift for valentines day is not a good sign. Forget what these cheapskate guys say about not celebrating valentines. A man who loves you will celebrate it because he wants to see you happy and he won't be cheap and say he doesn't believe in valenties day because he thinks its just a scheme for Hallmark to make money or he can't buy gifts on this day because he's trying to boycott hallmark and the florist shops LOL. i would try to become too busy to see him for a while. Don't answer most of his calls but PLEASE BE PLEASANT so he doesn't think you are mad at him. Men don't respond to nagging, they respond to NO CONTACT. My ex is flooding my house with gifts after No CONTACT and I am wondering if I should get back with him. Good Luck dear.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Maybe he's all stressed out about something.Why not come back and post again telling us what he does the day after V-Day?
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