A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: im in love with this girl who goes to the same college as me and my best friend. I see her every week day because where doingn the same course. were ok friends because we sit on the same table as each other along with my best friend and four others. my best friend is also in love with her and he told her last weekend via msn when i was sat with him after a party he had. she told him that it wasn't going to happen so they're staying friends. he still really likes her and he has fallen in love with a girl before but anoth guy beat him to it so he is really determined to get her as he says hes dreaming about her as well. i think she has a boyfriend because she apparently likes this other guy who her friend says isn't good for her basically. and their both married to each other on facebook but i dont know if thats just child play or not. we talk a fair bit in class and online. i can see her in the corner of my eye sometimes looking at me and to be fair i stare at her a lot in class but not in an obvious way. we seem to talk well in class but the last few times i've spoken to her online which was 2 weeks ago (because she hasn't been online) i always have to start the convo, i'm always asking her questions to keep the convo alive and at some point i just give up and say im going off which she does reply to say bye etc. she has invited me and my best friend and our other 2 friends to her birthday party on saturday. we're all going but i want to get her a present thats sweet and maybe make her look at me in a different way but not saying im madly in love with you. oi was thinking of some flowers because she likes flowers cause she works at a flower stall. do i stick with flowers or get her something else? what do i do to make her think im interesting so she asks questions when were online?does she like me in that way of what ive described?what should i do at this party to get her attention and make her see me in a different way?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (15 February 2011):
Do not buy her anything. Gifts are a reward for girl who has already been a good girlfriend. You cannot woo a new girl with gifts. If you must buy something, bring snacks to the party. Bonus points for something you cooked yourself, like chicken wings; extra points for booze (if you're underage, I can't condone breaking the law, but it would certainly look good to her).
To be interesting to her, be interesting in general. Be social with everyone, don't focus on her too much. She'll notice if you're having a good time with other people at the party, especially girls. Ask them complex questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no. Be genuinely interested, and wait until they are completely done to share yoru related experiences. Don't be afraid to tease them (or her) gently if you think something is funny.
Best thing you can do is make it known that you're interested with your body langauge alone - but then act and think as though she was not the only girl in the world. Be willing to consider other girls at the party, be willing to lose her in favor of another. Loyalty is a virtue, but one reserved for a girl you are *already* dating. Until then, do not focus your attention too much on any particular one. Girls don't like the pressure of being the sole focus of a guy's attention until they're already dating him.
A
female
reader, cca9130 +, writes (15 February 2011):
The answer posted before was very harsh and that's not true. Sometimes, like the friend of yours that declared to her and she said no, the girl is not that into you. If you see that she's not answering a lot on conversations, it's 50% chance that she doesn't like you and that maybe she does but she's shy. You must tell her how you feel. Give her flowers, her favorite! It's a simple way to say: I care about you and later in the night she may find out that you like her even more. The worst thing she can say is no. Maybe it will bring your hopes down, but there's also a 50% chance that she says yes! I say take your chance and tell her how you feel. If she says yes, tell me how it went!! I would love to know. If she said no, bummer, cry it off and look at the new prospects, that's what I do. Remember to move on. Good Luck!!!
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (15 February 2011):
My dear friend, you are very young but over time you will learn it by yourself. There's no such thing as making a girl fall in love with you!If she likes you she will make sure you know! If she doesn't like you she will make sure to keep you puzzled and confused because she likes you to be around to boost her confidence! And if she ever changes her mind and comes to you it's not because you succeded and you made her fall in love with you, but because over time she hasn't found Mr. Prince and she would compromise with you! Now you know the inconvenient truth. Best wishes.
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