A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I've been in an exclusive relationship for over 2 1/2 years we are both middle aged, and live in our separate homes, but we spend almost every night together. Last night my boyfriend comes over later than normal because he had a function to attend and I had something too after work. I wasn't feeling too well and was really sleepy and it was late and I have work early in the morning. Because I wasn't in the mood for sex, he got up and left my house at midnight. He never told me he was leaving and my front door was left unlocked all night. There has been so many home invasions in my area, it really upset me that he thought so little of me, not to even care if my doors were locked. He is upset with me for not having sex even though I wasn't feeling well. We have a fairly active sex life almost every night, that still doesn't seem to be enough for him. Prior times if I turned him down, he wouldn't talk to me and would act cold. But this really upset, just wanted to know what others thought.
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female
reader, FRICAN  +, writes (21 December 2012):
any caring guy will never put your safety at risk, all your guy cares is his sexual satisfaction and that is a very selfish thing to do...he is not worth u, u deserve better...u r bn used for sex only !!!!Ask yourself, if that was done to your best friend, sister or daughter what will u advise them to do???
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks eveyone.
My door is a deadbolt we always use the garage with keypad, but he knew I'd hear that and maybe say something about him leaving, so he quietly used the front door knowing he couldn't lock it. With all the recent break-ins in the area that was the part that hurt most, that he didn't care about my safety.
Thanks again!!! Happy Holidays.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 So in other words what you have is a guy who is only nice to you and cares about your safety when he gets what he wants.
That is reason enough to dump him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 December 2012):
 To JustHelpinAgain,
You said: “but I think sexual rejection is reserved mostly for women (or maybe I am just a man speaking)”
Yes dear you are just a man speaking. I get rejected at least weekly. Thankfully he’s hugging and kissing me and apologizing for it when he turns me down.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012): I think he puts his sex drive above your health and safety...thats for sure!
If its any type of bench mark for you. I asked my partner what he would have done. He said he would have locked up, gone to bed and given me a cuddle. And i know he would. It sounds as if this guy is taking you for granted and using you.
Throwing a hissy fit and leaving because he wasnt getting sex is no way to treat a lady but leaving your home unsecured as well is totally inexcusable. He needs a reality check because he was not giving any thought to you at all.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Hi
He was very unreasonable, he wanted sex and when he didn't get it, stormed out.
What do you normally do when you see each other, do you go out together in the evenings ever, do you spend weekends doing normal stuff in the day, shopping or whatever, days out someplace?
If you don't, then it isn't a relationship.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (20 December 2012):
Unfortunately guys, once turned on, can behave like 5 year olds when rejected. Hes hopefully not as bad as the female aunts suggest but his tantrum was not smart and whether he left your door open on purpose or not it was very uncaring. It sounds like you both need to do a bit more talking. How do turn him down? Rolling over and going to sleep i.e. The cold shoulder is not a very caring form of communication and is on a par with him getting up and leaving. When and with whom we have sex is clearly our human right but I think sexual rejection is reserved mostly for women (or maybe I am just a man speaking) but I have never rejected my wife when she wanted sex no matter how tired or shitty I feel. I am always amazed how my penis can go onto automatic mode for her, and I know a vagina can do the same!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012): Hi, you have not given enough information as to whether he does anything romantic or do yourll go out on dates or is this just sex. I agree if its just sex then you are in a FWB releationship.
With regard to the door being left unlock, I think there is another possibility that he accidentally left it unlocked as he was upset. Which is not excusable as he should have prioritise your safety however its a lot worst if he did it intentionally.
You need to decide if you want someone like that in your life and if you still want him, ask him why he left the door unlocked. At this point I will not call him but wait for him to call and if he doesnt, you have your answer, you dont mean anything to him other than a booty call.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 This guy doesn't seem to think that you are his girlfriend because he's treating you even worse than an FWB. All he wants from you is sex and if he doesnt get it, he doesnt think its worth staying over or being with you. If this were a proper relationship and he were to behave like a responsible boyfriend, then he should have stayed with you to take care of you. Any caring person would do that.
He's just after sex OP. If you're OK with that, then its your decision. But this guy is definitely NOT a keeper.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 December 2012):
what else besides see each other every night for sex do you do together? IF nothing much (stay home and watch tv does not really count either) then I agree with person12345 that you are not a gf but are more of a FWB with this man who is clearly not adult enough to have a relationship.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 December 2012):
 You are not in a relationship, you are being used as a masturbation toy. This guy is not worth your time, what a horrible thing to do. A boyfriend would not be upset that you were sick, he would at least try to make you feel better. This guy is a user.
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