A
female
age
41-50,
*ucca
writes:We've dated almost a year and a half now and lived together most of that time. A couple months ago we had a long discussion regarding his fantasies. To be exact, the moment arrised as I lay in full glory after having had 30 consecutive gushing orgasms (the most I've ever had and the first time he was ever able to make me gush). I was on cloud 9 and he tells me his fantasy of us bringing a third person in~sexually. Women are beautiful but not my cup of tea. Never tried, don't care to. I really don't even want any other man at the same time but told him that would be the only way we could have a 3some....(keep in mind I only told him this to keep it going so he would delve deeper and tell me what all he really was thinking/desiring). I did tell him that day that I would not be comfortable with it. Rather, that it would probably ruin our relationship. So his grand idea is for someone to watch or video us having sex. I can understand some merit to this but still said sorry but not for me. He kept on with it for a week until I broke down (got upset) and he realized I was serious and really didn't want any part of it.....ok well last night he brings it up again...this time having sex with each other (not partner switching) around other couples that are having sex at the same time. I want nothing to do with this and won't cave. It just makes me sad because I see it as a huge red flag of future relatoinship breakers. I know I sound old fashioned but I do love a wild fuck just as good if not better than most. It just seems like it would rob all intimacy and leave me feeling untrue to myself. I theorize that because he who is 32 now was molested by his sisters friend at a young age (5 or so) at his sisters commanding. Its all fucked up. I feel horrible for him. But it seems like him and other friends who have these need-like fantasies have had some sexual molestaion or issues from their childhood. That is not so much the issue I want to discuss but it is my two cents worth thrown in. I really want to hear how others view the situation. I will still hold true to my beleifs but I just want to see how the rest of the world really operates. Thank you for reading and replying.
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female
reader, Rucca +, writes (23 August 2010):
Rucca is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all your answers/ideas/responses. We broke up this weekend anyway. Guess there were too many differences. We never really had good sex anyway. In fact, that is one part of our break up that I am happy about...no more bad sex for me!! :) I do love him. Love just isn't enough sometimes though.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): I believe that you should come clear with your bf, especially if both live together. you should tell him and explain to him how you feel and that you dont agree with his fantasy. some girls wouldnt have problem with his idea however i dont think he would be upset if u tell him not to mention his fantasy again as it makes you upset and down all the time.
good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): To be honest I fully agree with you. I would be the same and the answer would be a big NO! Hope he can understand that and not get too hung up about your differences with that one thing
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): Yes he should let it drop. You have told him no several times now. If he does not stop then I would seriously reconsider this relationship. He may need to be in an open championship with another woman. Have a good long talk with him.
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A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (21 August 2010):
 My partner wants to do the same.
I'm not for it or against it. I just want time to think about it. I'm not sure exactly where I stand in this vote. But I am glad that you stay firm with your choice. Maybe I myself am to decisive to even give an answer so I just stick to the middle :)
Honestly,My fear is it could lead to something more. That's probably why I have not gone and had someone watch us. I value to much of what we have and I have seen/learned that you add something to the potion more and more is added later. I also seemed to get caught up in the moment a lot and don't want to add anymore than whats there.
But then again the idea of it is kinda hot. It's different from anything I have done before. Which I like to experiment but scared of the results at the same time.
So like I said I'm stuck in the middle, Fear of what it could turn into. Liking the idea of someone watching.
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A
male
reader, Pazush  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Hi,
youre right not to agree with this if it isnt your scene.
also there might be a place you can meet in the middle.
a guy thinking about third party sex is more reliable than a guy who keeps his fantacies secret...
you can suggest other activities that are based on watching only. your presence with him while watching might subtract his desire. it also might do the opposit so its you who knows him better to decide...
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