A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi, i know i'm a bit young but my boyfriend wants me to go back to his house on Friday so we can have sex. I love him but how will I know when i'm ready to.Also some tips on how to make it a good experience would be appriciated.Thank you Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): scarlettABiGAiiL needs to be corrected, you are not guarenteed to not become pregnant if you use a condom.
Many people, especially young teenagers and people who are inexperienced in using condoms can have problems with them.
A common problem is that they arn't put them on properly, causing them to either slip off during sex, or tear.
NO matter what contraception you use, if you have sex then there is always a chance that you can become pregnant, or catch a sexually transmitted disease.
You need to put yourself first, and like many other aunts have said on here, if you have to ask if you are ready to have sex, then the chances are that you aren't.
A
female
reader, scarlettABiGAiiL +, writes (16 April 2008):
Babes.. iif you use a condom your not going to get pregnant. Or you could just not haver sex untiill your more confiident. Ive had sex loads of tiimes dont worry about it. Or you could go to your doctors and asked to be put on the pill? xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): well im going through it to my boyfreind wants to have sex but im scared ima get pregnat and im a little embaresed wat should i do cuzz i think im ready but dont want to het pregnet
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): Listen, I understand your situation because I was once in your position. I was in the eighth grade and my boyfriend at the time was pressuring me to have sex. Honestly, I knew I wasn't ready for it. So I did the right thing and I didn't do it just because I was being pressured into it. Also, if your boyfriend really loves you, he will be okay if you decide not to have sex with him yet. When I told my boyfriend that I wasn't ready yet, he was a bit disappointed but he got over it because he knew that it wasn't right to put me in a situation where I didn't feel comfortable. If you're already doubting it, then you know you shouldn't be doing it. You'll know when you're ready when you don't even have to ask that question.. just like someone else advised. If you want.. you could also pray about this and ask for God's help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Hiya, im just turned 15, and live in blackpool, since november 06, ive had the exact same problem, as my boyfriend is 17, and he wanted sex, i was a virgin, and didnt know when i was going to be ready. I lost my virginity to him on new years eve after 2 months of doing hardly anyting, i didn't feel ready at all, and i was scared, embarressd and nervous. I only did it because he did pressure me into it, but i feel so much better now, i feel so much closer to him, and we both feel our relationship got stronger. So good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): I am sorry to say that your boyfriend has only one thing on his mind at his age and it is not great conversation, and just because he wants you to come over to his house to have sex does not mean that you have to do that even if you love him....if he loves you, he will understand that you are too young to be giving this precious gift away to him....your relationship will not last past this experience because he will have gotten what he wants from you and most likely move on to someone else, the next notch on his belt.
Having sex requires great maturity to deal with the strong emotions that it invokes and your young boyfriend is not mature enough to handle you and your strong feelings that will develop after becoming intimate.
The other more dangerous concern is that having sex at a young age puts you at great risk for getting HPV a virus that causes cervical cancer and this virus can go undetected...using a condom during sex will not protect you from contracting it, and if your boyfriend has had sex with other girls he will be a risk factor for passing this virus on to you, as well as the fact that most 13-16 year old boys do not practice good hygene, which is a risk as well.
Paste this link in your brower to learn more about risk factors for cervical cancer.
http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=2755#sex
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 January 2007):
Making it a good experience... well, wait until you're good and ready. Why plan these things out? My first time wasn't planned, it just happened and THAT is why it was so special. Take your dear, sweet time. You can only give it away once. Why do it on Friday?
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (23 January 2007):
Trust me, when you're ready for sex you won't need to ask if you're ready. Don't be afraid to tell him you want to wait. If he loves you that won't be an issue.
If you do decide to have sex however, remember that good sex is safe sex. If you both don't need to worry about infections or pregnancy you'll enjoy it much more. As for the more technical stuff just try out what feels good and see what happens but.... be careful. I don't want to say you're too young for sex because perhaps you are ready but you don't sound like it and I'd hate it for you to get hurt.
CD
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