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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has been depressed for the about half a year. Recently it has gotten worse. He now says that we should break up because he needs time by himself to sort his life out. He says that he loves me, but that he needs to be alone. I want him to get better and I want to support him. I know that I shouldn't pressure him to stay with me even though I love him deeply and I would hate to lose him. What should I do? Walk away? Keep calling him? Try to support him? I believe that there is hope for him and us. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2005): Thank you for your advice. I do not think that he has found somebody new. He has assured me that he is not seeing anyone else and that he is not interested in anyone else. He says that he needs to focus and that a relationship is not possible for him right now. I do think that he should speak to a professional. But I'm not sure if I should contact him. He has asked for space and I do not want to push him even farther away (and perhaps permanently) by not following his request for time and space. Do you think that I should give him a few weeks and then contact him to see how he is and suggest help?
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (2 December 2005):
I say dismiss what that last guy said (I'm sorry and do not wish to start a fight but if this really has been scienfitcially proven, I would like to see proof, references, do you have them? And besides that is only a majority, this guy could be the minority), because a guy can break up with somoene if they love you. I think you totally forgot that this guy is depressed and he may not think like you. A depressed persons mind is different and with that comes a whole lot of guilt. People with illnesses can feel like if they talk about it or be around people when thye have it that they are a burden. They don't want to bring the other person down with them. They believe the other person deserves ot be happy and that they can't give them that, so some people tyr to distanct themselve and in this case make you move on or have a break. I think the answer here is keep on trying, because you said so yourself you beleive there is future for the 2 of you, you have hope. First things first, he says he wants to deal with it alone, does that mean hes not reciecing professioanl counselling? My best advice to you is to get him seeing a counsellor straight away, take him to his doctor, something like that. Don't make the mistake of letting someone hwo suffers from depression go un diagnosed. And dont make the mistake of thinking he will cope with just your support because its not like the same as someone who just has a bad day, there isa chemical imbalance in the brain that causes this, he neeeds professional help!I think you best get him that help- gf or not. Keep trying to support him. Remind him that you want to and you care for him and that it is NOT a burden. good luck :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2005): Why has been too depressed for 6 months, isn't fancy this gentleman fancy somebody else or perhapes dating somebody else and he wanna breaks up with you, and you have no idea wot is goin on in reality, he says he loves you but he does want you to get close to him, he could lie he loves you when he doesn't When a guy wanna do break up, there is scientific proven he no longer love or have any feeling for his g/f or wife or fiancy anymore.He gives you some signal be smart dont hurt yourself, looks like he he had enough of you. My advice is ask him if he found somebody else so he wanna break up with you, if his depression caused by you or your relationship, and that is the case, you better walk away and never force him to like and love you, when he keep staying away from you, why on earth you fancy, and love that sort of guy, pehapes he doesn't fancy you nor more, there is no point to waste your time, money and your energy, and keep calling him, just forget it and move on, dont give a monkey about players. Good luck
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