A
female
age
36-40,
*ana86
writes:i've been in relationship with s for more then 5 years. it wasn't easy all this while. but i stayed strong cause he never bring in any girls. last year an incident happen where he lied to me and went outstation with his working friend female. after a long fight he told me that he went there for work purpose. last he said that he wants to go to pub with his friend. i don't go clubbing so do he.suddenly he asked me. then he said he will allow other girls to touch him. i was very shocked when he say that. i don't allow any guys to touch cause i have him. we had a fight and he said he didn't mean it. i i went out with my girl friend to watch me and came came back at 11pm. he ordered me to be back by 9 pm. he was very angry and he said he is going to go to pub and let other girls to touch all over him. he is like waiting for me to do mistake so that he can go to pub. earlier in the relationship he have said that he wants to go thailand to prostitute. i say i don't like. on and off he have threatened me that he will go thailand. i think but not sure whether he have cheated me or not. but he hurts a lot by his words.he knows that very well. i just told him that he can go to pub or thailand and do whatever he wants. he is happy indeed. am over reacting. i am so confused.i don't like what he is doing but at the same time i will have a very hard time without him in my life. and i know he will be still happy without me. recently he is always saying he don't like to talk to me, don't like to c my face, don't want to marry me. now finally he wants other girls to touch him..
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female
reader, sana86 +, writes (4 May 2013):
sana86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told I want to break up with him if he wants to think other girl in my place. He said okey. And its been already 2 days he didn't bother to call me. actually. I just don't know. I control myself from calling him. Each 10 minutes I look into handphone waiting for him to call me. Feel so ...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 May 2013):
 I’m sorry you have been with him for 5 years. It must be hard to gather the strength you need to leave this guy.
Last year (so four years into your relationship) you caught him for the first time in a lie. This may be the first time he lied or just the first time you caught him.
He said he will allow other girls to touch him. You went out with your girlfriend to WATCH YOU? He ORDERED you home by 9 pm. So you a. have a curfew from this person and you require a baby sitter. So when you do what any adult woman does and stay out a bit later with a friend, he gets mad and to punish you he goes to the pub so other girls can touch him.
AND this is ok with you? It should not be. I would have told my guy A. I do not need a baby sitter and b. I do not require a curfew. Then when I got home and he said he was going to the pub to let other women touch him to punish me, I would have told him to not bother coming home. YOU ARE NOT A CHILD. You think he’s cheated on you. He threatens to go to Thailand (for prostitutes I assume).
He tries to scare you and intimidate you. How will you have a hard time without this abusive person in your life?
He is horrible honey… you need to figure out how to survive without him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2013):
 He is always saying that he does not want to talk to you, that he does not want to see your face, now that he wants other girls to touch him.... and you still think " you'll have a hard time without him " ?
You are having a hard time NOW, a horrible time , in fact, seen that , beyond what he says , he is also treating you like crap.
You may feel lost and upset at the beginning because man is a creature of habits who tends to miss what he's accostumed to. You got used to being mistreated , so at first maybe you will miss being mistreated. But if you have just a bit of intelligence, resilience and self respect, as I do not doubt you have, let a few months pass and you'll see that without this pest of a guy you can't be anything but MUCH better off.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 May 2013):
 You wrote about the prostitute situation, but you need to realize that HE WILL do whatever he wants to because he knows that YOU won't leave, so really your only choice is to suck it up.
Is that how you see your life down the line? Sucking every stupid thing he says and does up? Is that what you want for yourself? A man who ORDERS you around? Gives you curfew? Emotionally blackmail you so he can do whatever HE wants and you can't feel bad?
He doesn't even WANT to be with you! He is just using you til someone "better" (in his eyes) comes along.
Why haven't you let him yet? Don't you realize that you can do SO much better then a guy who treats you like dirt?
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