A
female
age
,
*hicki62
writes:my boyfriend likes to talk about his past sexual relationships, and he has also remained friends with several of his ex-girlfriends. now he wants me to meet one of them because of his friendship with her. i must admit that this really makes me feel kinda strange. does this mean i'm insecure and or jealous of his past ? i can't seem to figure out my feelings on this.
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ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 August 2010):
 I'd go ahead and meet her. You should be able to ascertain if you have anything to worry about as far as their friendship goes. You may find you actually like her. On the other hand, if you refuse you may come across in a bad light in his eyes. However I think it's rather crass of him to discuss past SEXUAL activities and name names, if that is indeed what he is doing.
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (13 August 2010):
 Those are perfectly normal feelings. I'd feel strange as well if my partner just couldn't let go of his past. that doesn't really mean you're insecure. however it's all about trust. he might actually be just friends with them so it's all about trust. but i would talk to him about continuing to talk to you about what he used to do with them. that's what is probably making you feel wierd about the whole thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): WARNING, WARNING! Honey it is normal to feel weird about meeting someone your BF use to be intimate with. This is not good a good indicator. He may be moving her into his life more for a reason.
Having been in this situation before, I'll tell you this - he's bringing her into his life and he's hoping once you know her, you'll accept her being around more often. One guy I met introduced his young GF to his wife so that when the wife passed out in the evening, he and his GF could get it on whenever they wanted. I had a BF that introduced me to his much younger coworker and tried to get us to be friends, next came the "taking the cell into the bathrm" stage, followed by the "get on the computer with the door closed" stage for him...I got a hold of his cell - pictures of her, I got a hold of his computer - very inappropriate emails to his recently turned 18 coworker. So that ended that.
I say, meet her. Then you have the upper hand because you know what can happen and you can at least see the interaction between them and possibly stop it as long as its not being hidden. Be careful and good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): Some people are just more in touch with their past...it's healthy, but it shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable. If it does, he should stop. My GF is pretty guarded about her sexual past, whereas I am very open and curious about hers. However, she wants me to meet her ex'es too, which I have no interest in...let me rephrase that, I'd rather die than meet the guy who shagged her before me. So yeah, I'd say you are justified in feeling strange. But the fact you seem willing proves you aren't insecure about it.
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A
male
reader, Stonemason +, writes (13 August 2010):
 You should "test the waters" by talking about your own former ones; if you are inexperienced and have had few or none, you could talk about your wishes or fantasies about others. Don't let him dominate you like this. By taking over the agenda, You can tell if he honestly has no other topics to talk about or is deeply interested in his former girlfriends. I find talking about former loves just manipulative as those should have no function in your life. However, you should meet them, if only once, so that you can see what your b/f saw in them. I've liked all my wife's former boyfriends and enjoy seeing that I am so different from them. I don't know how clear for you I've been here. I could explain better but I'm off to get a cup of coffee.
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A
male
reader, Cloverfield  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 No, not at all. I'd be feeling pretty insecure if my partner still had a close relationship with an ex...... & I certainly wouldnt want to meet up.
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