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anonymous
writes: my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years and were very happy up until new year. I was never a jealous sort of person until i met him and about 8months into our relaionship found evidence of him flirting with other girls from his uni and online. we got past all that pretty quickly as i felt he loved me and he said he didnt mean any of it-that he would never follow it through.However one of my friends recently introduced him to a girl she knows and whilst i was away over new year he was lying to me and saw her behind my back. Since then he has seen her aleast once a week and seems to take more interest in her than he does me. I confronted him about this and told him how it made me feel after i found a picture of her posing basically topless on his computer which he later admitted he asked for as he 'was curious'! he assured me that there was nothing going on between them and i was just being paranoid. I tried to forget it but he lied to me about where he was when he was with her and when i found out blamed me and said that he had to lie to protect me. Ever since he has metthis girl my life has been turned upside down but he always sticks up for her but not for me, and it really upsets me. I know he loves me but this has caused an ongoing argument since january and he said that he is sick of it. We took a break for a few days (we see each other almost every day) and were happy for a while until she told me that he had been insulting me to her and discussing all aspects of our relationship with her. I explained that i was upset that he felt he couldnt talk to me about what is wrong and that i felt left out as he was taking her out with all his friends but not me and he now will hardly talk to me or see me. He is going away for a month and a half next friday and says we should have a break until he gets back but i love him to bits and i wish he could just talk to me about his problems to help us sort them out, i am worried that by that time he will think we should end it as we are in such a bad note now. All my friends tell me im stupid for being with him but i love him so much and the last thing in the world that i want is to lose him, how can i repair this!!! please helP!
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female
reader, Kyaserin  +, writes (9 October 2008):
 Hmmmm if he's saying stuff about you and yourselves behind your back then I'd say he's a guy thats jsut not for you =/ but i'm in a predicament myself and can't say you don't love him or anything because I truly love my ex very much. But really if you let him do that stuff he's never gunna see his wrongs and enver his rights. You're better than that find a cosiderate guy at one. So sorry though =(
A reader, lisa ferraro, writes (28 February 2005): Flirting is harmless fun but touching isn't. You have suspicion but you don't really have evidence. My advice is tread carefully just in case you're wrong. You don't want to lose him, do you?
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A reader, crystal, writes (25 February 2005): Yes he will get with other girls, hence the "break"
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A reader, Luisa, writes (24 February 2005): It's quite hard to know what to do when you have such strong feelings for someone and quite easy for me to say leave him. You seem like a person who cares and has lovely qualities. The thing is, guys do look to other girls for fun and attention now and again but mean nothing of it. However this is no reason to be treated this way, my advice would be to let go of him and remember it his loss not yours. This time will give him that timeout to realize what he has, when he realizes this then he will be back. If not then he really is not worth it. It takes guys a pretty hard fall to realize their mistakes and realize what they have or had. We are all human, sometimes I flirt with other guys but then I have one person in my heart and mind. Give him that chance to realize what he has. Good luckx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2005): Well i think your friends are right, although stupid is a little harsh, if you are in a relationship with some one you dont ask other girls for pics of themselves topless. He has been seeing her behind you back and lied about it, so theres the guilt straight away.He obviously has no respect for you and i wonder how would he feel if you were doing something like this. Not too happy is my guess.I know 2 years is a long time and you probably think you wont get over him, trust me you will. There is someone out there for you who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
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