A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. well next week it will be two years. Well it's summer and most of his friends have come back home for summer from college. Well last year during summer I realized that we were always together and this summer all he wants to do is be with his friends and i totally understand that because he is a guy and he needs his own space. He shouldn't have to feel tied down and feel stuck with me. Before i had a problem with it because we were always together and suddenly we just started drifting apart lately. or at least that's how it feels. Well anyway, i really don't know what to do because when we plan out a day to be together it always ends up getting screwed up because of either one of us. Lately i have noticed and have brought it to his attention that when he is doing somehting with his friends he puts more thought and effort into being with them then he has ever with me, i don't know if it's because he wants him and his friends to have a good time or is it because he wants to impress his friends or what?I have talked to my friends about this and they have all said that he doesn't deserve to be with me becuase of the way that they see him treat me. The other day i was with a cousin and her boyfriend and we went to the store, well i was going to buy lunch for me and my boyfriend but he got pissed and left. Later in the day he started complaining about how he was hungary so i asked him if he wanted me to buy him something to eat and he kept saying "no" and so i dind't and then later after he was still complaining i asked him if he was sure that he didnt want me to buy him something to eat and he still kept saying "no" finally i gave up and i said fine that's it im not asking anymore, and he got really pissed off and started yelling at me and then told me to go buy him a large pizza. So i did and when i came back he said he didn't want it because he had nothing to drink. Wow, what a waste of money right? Well anyway that's not the worst of it, but i really don't know what to do because i see how he treats everyone else and when it comes to me he feels like he can say whatever he wants, and he feels that he can call me names whenever he wants. just like a few weeks ago we got into a fight and i started crying and he started laughing and I asked why he was laughing at me and he said that it was fun and funny to mess around with my emotions. even though i was crying he kept telling me to shut up. I really don't know what to do and i need advice from someone. So if someone can give me their input on this, that would be great. Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice ladies it's much appreciated!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): You've given your bf all the power in the relationship. Even though you have been considerate of his feelings, he feels so assured of your continual devotion to his every need that he is glorifying in being able to torture you emotionally. Disempower him by realizing that its not the end of the world if you break up. It will suck for a little while but you'll survive. Your not the only one responsible for maintaining the relationship and maybe by being willing to bail he might change his behavior. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 June 2010):
The only thing that I can suggest you is -leaving him .
Many relationship issues can be fixed, but only if there is respect and he totally shows no respect for you.
He orders you around as if you were his maid ( couldn't he get himself his food and drink, since he was the one who was hungry ??). He calls you names, he tells you to shut up, he laughs in your face while you cry. There's just no respect and,again,in these conditions you can't do anything else than show him the door.
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