A
female
age
36-40,
*ermer311
writes:I met my boyfriend through my brother in law and he came from NC all the way to MO to meet me. We fell in love and he wanted me to move to NC with him. I quit my job that I had for a long time and left my family and friends to be with him. Everything was going good and then I noticed he was starting to act really shady. He kept his cell phone with him all the time and would hide it before he went to bed. One night I found it and sure enough he was talking to a girl whos number he had hidden under a guys friends name. She was saying how much she loved him and vice versa. I was literally in shock. I thought my world had crumbled down around me. That has to be one of the most painful things I have ever had to endure. He said he only slept with her twice. Well, I started talking to her myself without him knowing and come to find out he had been with her for 2 years and the night we found out about eachother he told her I was a homeless transient who slept on his couch. Wow, pretty messed up considering everything I had sacrificed to be with him. Before I found out he made me go home for Christmas and was going to meet me there on Xmas eve. Come to find out right after I got on my plane he had that girl come over and she spent the weekend with him in our bed. Ouch. Her and i have stayed friends but I am stuck here in NC with him still continuing to try to see other women behind my back. It hurts. I don't know what to do. He won't allow me to see anyone which I don't really have a desire to because my heart still hurts so bad and he won't allow me to go out without him. He has complete control over me because he knows there is nothing I can do because I am stuck here with him. The really bad thing is that I still have feelings for this monster! What is wrong with me? I need help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): If you can move all the way over there for him, you most certainly can move back home.
If the thought of him wanting to marry you is why you feel attached to him, then you might have to prepare yourself for more heartache IF you do marry him. For all I know, he might not marry you, or even if he does, he sounds like he will cheat on you.
You deserve someone better than that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): No, you DON'T have to stay stuck there and deal with it. Can your parents wire you some money so's you can make the drive back? Can anyone in your family or friends do that?
Don't look for a temp. job there - not in this bad economy -just try to get a loan so you and your pets can make the trip home.
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A
female
reader, mermer311 +, writes (29 April 2009):
mermer311 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I came here in my car with my pets and I have been trying to get a temporary job so that I can afford to make the long trip back. I think I might be attatched to the fact that he seemed serious about me that he even had me pick out an engagement ring and told me we were gonna get married and start a family. Its hard just to let that go and start all over again I guess. I know I need to though. But for now I am stuck here and I have to deal with it. I wish there was an easier way to go about dealing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Sorry to hear it! What a horrible character.
I don't see how you CAN still have feelings for him after what he's done.
What matters now is that you get out of there, ASAP! Book a one-way flight back home and stay with your family until you can get situated in a new job. Do you have a credit card to charge your air fare? Call the police; call a women's shelter, anyone who can assist you with leaving him if you don't have any money. Get to the airport one day when he's not home.......don't look back once you have ditched him.
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