A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there ... just wanting some advice. I am deeply in love with the man I am currently with and I hope to be with him long-term.Recently my man suggested that perhaps I might be bi-sexual I dont know if I am or not. I love being with my man but I do get turned on by woman as well eg lesbian porn etc I find myself eyeing off chix when I go places the same as guys do. I have always got jobs and interests in things that traditionally males like ..cars mechanics truck driving etc. Ive got this pattern of behaviour that backtracks through the years. It would make a lot of things makes sense to me if thats how I am.My man says I should figure it out i dont know how to i dont know if i wanna know if i would accept that in me - i can accept it in other people i dont know if i could if it was me or why i wouldn't just because its me. My man says he'll stand by me and love me if i am that way he gets excited that maybe i am bi-sexual. What if it turns out i'm not and it lets him down? what if i am and i hate myself for being different all these years and stupid enough not to realise it. my friends and family have questioned me about it before over the years but i just laughed it off or got angry for them even suggesting it I think i might be i dont know how to go about finding out???? please help i am very confused.
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male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (6 July 2007):
Hi! Lots of men and women spend their whole lives in this or that gender role relationship. They tell themselves I'm this or I'm that when it comes to their sexual preferences. And so they live their lives as they see themselves sexually. Then one day they discover that their same gender attraction comes into play. The "Am I Bisexual" Question pops up in their head. This same question that is going through your head these days. It has long been suspected that Human-Pheromones play a desiding role in who we will be sexually attracted to, and want to have sex with. Pheromones are naturally occurring substances that the body excreetes externally, and these Air-borne Pheromones then cause sexual responses in both males/female sexuality. Most women are turned-on by a male's underarm sweat, a proven fact that the sweat affects her sexual behaviour. So, I would also see that a woman's Sweat-pheromones could also turn-on another woman's desire for same sex relationships, just as the Pheromones turn-on male to male sexual attraction. Those so called Love-Potions. Androstadienone,the male Pheromone that increases the hornyness in women, and induces her sexual-turn-on's. And as I see it. None of us gets to choose what gender we will prefer, m/f, m/m, f/f ,or one's Bisexuality. Our gender preference was desided for us at our mother's breasts. Long before our sexual maturity ever was consummated. Do look into Human-Pheromones for a better understanding of other's and your own sexuality.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 It shouldn't matter to your boyfriend whether you are bi or not!! And why does he think your bi if you haven't really thought about it before.
By the sounds of it you are bicurious if you find yourself eyeing other girls up. Don't worry yourself silly about it and enjoy looking. I'm bisexual and my partner loves that I am but he would stand by me whether I was or wasn't. Your guy really shouldn't be fussed either way.
xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (5 July 2007):
 Well, just going by what you said and not knowing you personally or anything, it sounds like you probably are not bi. The main reason for me saying this is because at this point in life, I personally feel as though you would *know* if you're attracted to women. Then again, everyone is different...
I wouldn't worry about liking things that males generally like. If you like the same things, it doesn't mean anything - those activities are assigned to sex by society and culture. Liking certain activities really doesn't mean anything if you think about it.
I would also forget about letting your man down. He should love you and be just as enthusiastic about being with you because of *you*, not because of who you might be attracted to (at least in my opinion.)
So I'm not quite sure how you would go about "finding out" if you're bisexual or not - I think it's more of a feeling that you would *know*, especially at your age. If you don't know if you're sexually attracted to women, then my feeling is that you are not.
BTW - if you're in an exclusive relationship, then why does it matter? Why would you feel stupid? Is it because you're unhappy in your current relationship? Just some things to ask yourself...
One more thing that I thought about - and who knows if this is the case - but if this came up because of a threesome question, don't let your guy manipulate you into doing that if you feel uncomfortable. The only reason I bring it up is because we get a lot of questions on here about partners trying to convince their boyfriends/girlfriends to have a threesome. Usually the results are not good. In fact, the results are usually terrible and the couple ends up splitting. But like I said, I have no idea if this is why your man would be upset if you were not bi. Just thought I would mention it.
Take care.
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