A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In the middle of a divorce, I needed help gettin no on my feet. Well a really good guy friend of mine offered to let me stay with him so I could save some money to get a car. And I didn't think after a few days of staying there I would have gotten drunk and slept with him. As the weeks went by we got closer and closer and continued our thing. One night he asked me, what to do consider us? I said well idk; what do you consider us? And he said that he doesn't just have sex with people. From then on, after 2 months of me living with him, we started callin each other bf and gf. Now the thing is, he has told me about his ex in the past and about how he loved her. And he left her because she was so jealous. Well recently he saw her at a store while I was off getting something from a different isle, I didn't get to meet her. But he did get her number. Later that week the talked on the phone and he told me she wanted to get back with him and he told me he told her that he couldn't because he was with me. He is still talking to her. There's another girl, a neighbor she has past with my bf, a one night stand. That was over two years ago but they continue to be friends and claim it was only that one time. Well while I was out of town working she came over to see my bf and they got drunk together and he told me she tried to kiss him and he stopped her.. Well the problem is idk if hes telling me everything and if it's ok to talk to these girls. I do love him and I want to trust him. I just know how guys are. I don't want to believe HE, one of my best friends, would do anything like that. Hes come out in told me he doesn't want me to leave that he loves me. What should I do? Should I even be concerned?
View related questions:
best friend, divorce, drunk, his ex, jealous, money, one night stand Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): "I just know how guys are." What does that mean? Perhaps you know how guys like him are because I don't get myself into situations like that with other women. I don't date one woman and then get drunk and intimate with others. If that's what you know of guys then you've been dating the wrong guys.
Look it's up to you to decide whether that's acceptable or not. You see you now know for sure she has a thing for him because she tried it on with him are you okay with them still being friends after that? re you okay with the fact that he got himself into that situation with her and that it can happen again as long as they remain friends? You see they say they slept together 2 years ago and nothing else after that but if that's the case then why did she try it on?
Is he the type of guy that will end up getting drunk and sleeping with his female friends? It happened with you didn't it? So yes. That doesn't mean he would cheat on you at all but you it does show that he can do those things even with girls who are supposed to be his friends.
The most important hing her OP is what you're comfortable with, not us, it doesn't matter what we think. Some of us would be comfortable others wouldn't.
Personally I would have a huge problem if my partner was to continue being that close to someone how has tried it on with her. I would trust that nothing happened that first time but if they were to get drunk together in that same kind of situation again then I wouldn't trust that at all. I would be very wary of my new partner suddenly getting in contact with one of their exes and one of their great loves too. Feelings like that come back way too easily for comfort. Put simply OP if I were in your situation I would walk away because you can't tell him who he can and cannot be friends with. It was a really bad idea to sleep with your friend in the first place, and even worse idea to sleep with a friend who are living with. Now he is openly entertaining these other two women, he has opened the door to his ex to reignite his feelings and to be honest the fact that his other friend tried it on with him even though he's now seeing you is huge cause for concern. Because no matter what he says OP something led her to believe that was okay he got into that situation with her and got close enough to her and drunk enough with her that she felt that was okay. To me that's a red flag.
|
