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My boyfriend talks to himself! Should I be disturbed about this?

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Question - (7 April 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend talks to himself. If I would have known this when we first met two years ago, I would have never talked to him. It disturbs me and he sees talking to himself as being more intellectually intuned than other humans. I have no clue what to do. I love him, but seriously...he talks to himself like he is two people. He's a gemini, but I don't see all these other geminis talking to themselves. Should I be worried?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Actually, he is kind of an only child. His brother is 8 or 10 years older than he is, and they don't talk much. Hmmm...I guess everyone has their own weird quirks. Thanks everyone

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

He thinks outloud, that's all x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No he just talks to himself. I've only heard him say a few things to himself. I havent really caught everything he says but when he comes home he will tell me he was talking at work (and i'm assuming with someone he works with) but then one of the people he is working with will come up to him and ask "who are you talking to??" and my boyfriend will say "myself, man". I asked him "so you were talking to yourself? what the hell?" and he said "ya i was having a discussion with myself about..." etc etc. I dont think it's normal. I dont have full discussions with myself, asking and answering my own questions!

He seems normal otherwise. He'll say stuff under his breath when he walks away from me sometime, but that seems normal. I dont know, it just freaked me out when he told me about his day and having a conversation about something with himself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

can i just ask if he is an only child? my mum talks to herself all the time and she says its because she was an only child and didnt have a brother or sister to talk to. yes its abit weird but it dosent mean that ur boyfriend crazy either... im not an only child but i find talking to myself puts things into perspective for me and its not uncommmon. try not to let it get to you too much as for him its a normal thing to do and he loves you.

good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i only mentioned him being a gemini because he always points it out that it's weird he talks to himself or that he acts like a different person around other people

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

SeRIOUSLY, him being a gemini, is so so so irrelevant, I can not believe that you actually mentioned it in your question! SO thick. Anyways in response to your question, it depends what about, and how often? If he has full conversations with himself where he answers and asks questions then yes that is strange

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (7 April 2010):

The gemini thing has nothing to do with this. They often say that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity. That's not true. But what is true is that it can be s sign that he has a huge amount on his mind, that could lead to a breakdown. I think it's worth gently talking to him about it and seeing if he will open up a bit.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (7 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntSome people think aloud and they feel better when they do that instead of only thinking in their head. It is not the same.

When you talk to yourself , you hear those words clearly and effectively. There is nothing wrong with talking to oneself in that way.

If he mumbles about nothings or nonsense then it is another matter.

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A female reader, hpoco Switzerland +, writes (7 April 2010):

hpoco agony auntI would be less worried that he talks to himself than that he thinks he is more intellectually in-tune than other humans! I think its normal to talk to oneself a little, but someone regularly having full-on conversations would be disturbing to see.

If his only odd behavior is self-talking, than I would not worry. That alone is pretty harmless, and possibly "normal". If he shows other strange behaviors though, like social withdraw, emotional outbursts...etc, then you should worry.

Most importantly though, if you can't stand it, whether its considered "normal" or not, maybe you can ask him not to do it in front of you. Tell him it creeps you out. He should be able to respect that, and keep it in his head while you are hanging out together, I think.

Best of luck to you!

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