A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend takes ages to cum.We are 16 and lost our virginities to each other. I've heard guys first times last like.. 30 seconds, he was more like 30 minutes! And now he lasts up to 2 hours inside me!I enjoy the sex, but Im just VERY tired and sore by the end of it, lets just say he isn't the smallest!Why could this be? I presume I turn him on, he can get hard just by making out with me lol. And when we have sex I don't just lie there, we move between different positions etc etc. Can guys control how long they last, I get the impression he is quite proud that he can last so long. How can I make him cum sooner? Techniques? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): It's very easy to reach a plateau where sex feels good, but not intense enough to orgasm. If you talk with your bf during sex you know when that has happened. Then you can arc up the intensity or extend foreplay.
What ramps up intensity differs according to the couple and can vary with the mood. Sometimes it is physical. Sometimes it taps into a fantasy. You (or he) might not feel comfortable with some of the things work for him, in which case there's no need to do them. Equally, you shouldn't read too much into what works for people during sex, it usually doesn't say anything about their non-sexual self.
Common things are: kissing/biting his nipples, a finger in his butt, dirty talk (usually around some theme, such as "cum in me, make me pregnant with you baby" or "fill me up"), love bites or scratching his back, simple dominance (such as him holding your hands down or not letting you go to the loo or wearing a eyemask), role playing (slave girl, teacher). Basically, the simpler forms of sexual fetishes.
Sometimes positions or circumstances work because they tap into a fantasy. You don't have to do that every time, at other times you can play along: "I can't wait until you do me on the bonnet again" (or whatever).
More foreplay helps a lot. Text messages, discarding underclothes, flashing, touching, kissing, sucking, double entendre, and basic fun. You can get him hard some hours in advance and keep him at a peak. Then when you get down to it he will be in the zone right away. You might not even get to the bedroom.
Often it is the first orgasm which takes a long time, and the second and third are easier. In that case, get the first one done before vaginal sex (eg: masturbation, sucking or tit-sex).
Sometimes you just need to give up. But you should do that in a way which doesn't have rejection for either of you. For example, when you go to the loo afterwards he can follow you, masturbate onto you, and rub it in, marking you as his (which is an underappreciated part of sex).
As you might gather, I've got your bf's problem. It can be a drag. On the plus side, it's pretty usual for my gf to come six or more times. And it makes one-night infidelities just not worth it; after all, another woman isn't going to know my secrets, so it's going to be disappointing.
Of the sexual problems this one is pretty transparent and harmless.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 Being circumcised or not has absolutely no impact on this. How long a man lasts or not is entirely up to the individual, and not circumcision.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (21 September 2010):
It varies a lot when guys come. A first timer is supposedly not capable of keeping it on for more than minutes, but many first timers face the opposite problem: they can't come. This could also be due to inexperience, stress, anxiety, you name it.
Or, many boys are led to believe that the longer the better. So to rule out any suspicion: tell your guy that he is taking to long! If he is taking this long to impress you it is absolutely necessary that you correct it.
Then, if he simply can't help it, I advice more foreplay. Make him about ready to come before you have intercourse. He can also practice coming faster when he masturbates.
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 unlike UNcircumsized men** excuse my spelling i just woke up hehe
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66 +, writes (21 September 2010):
When i first started seeing my fiance we didn't cum at all and it was because he was nervous it took a good solid 2 months for him to start feeling comfortable with it
even now it stills takes him awhile
if he circumsized?
men who are circumsized last longer because they are used to the rubbing down from either masturbating or just the pants rubbing upagainst them as they walk
unlike circumsized men they have that skin for protection and when it is exposed it is more sensative
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (21 September 2010):
 The time it takes can vary from less than a minute to hours. It depends on how aroused he is etc...
Guys can control it but usually by stopping stimulation before ejeculation.
Ask him what feels best as your doing things this will give you better techinques.
Needless to say and I am sure youve heard it all before, make sure you use condoms and practice safe sex or your life could be tied down before you know it.
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