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Boyfriend not pushing

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Question - (21 September 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *zDiva2u writes:

I'm in my third year of college. My boyfriend should also be where I am but before he met me he was not taking his school serious. so he dropped out. Now he sits around, surfs the web hoping to find work (which I think Is pure lazyness) Recently I gave him a woman's number who helps drop outs to get them back in school for free! And he doesn't push hard for that either!!! I don't know what to do. What if I get further ahead? And he's still lagging behind? But it sucks when I'm getting up for class and he's still sleeping like a baby.. p.s the college that he dropped out of, he was actually expelled for having a low gpa.. help. And again don't be rude please.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010):

If you don't like this now, just wait until you have to rely on him to support your eventual children and family together.

This is what dating is for: weeding thru the multitudes of guys who would love to be with you until you find the best possible candidate to spend the rest of your life with

Sounds like he's not the one...

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A male reader, Cupid Boy Canada +, writes (21 September 2010):

Cupid Boy agony auntSchools and the world in general are not exactly welcoming places for boys anymore. The emphasis has been all on girls -- bringing them up, improving their self-esteem, and tailoring the curriculum to suit them. Only after boys had seriously fallen behind did anyone start to notice or care. When you're in a female-dominated class or office and feel out of place, it's easier to drop out, especially if your male friends are doing the same thing. The expectations on guys to get good grades and become responsible fathers have dissolved to the point where boys are just expected to fail. Now it's all about women's success. "Male" jobs everywhere are disappearing. Their strengths are seen as worthless. Every single job interview I've been to has been with a woman and maybe it's just me but I feel at a disadvantage because of it. All this is an explanation for your bf's apathy, not an excuse.

Realize the odds are stacked against him and encourage him to be the exception. Encourage him to try harder but don't sound overly critical. Focus on the positive: his talents and great potential rather than on the time he's wasting. Tell him he has a lot to contribute which is why you want to see him become the great and successful person you know he can be. Moping around at home is ok once in a while but not as a lifestyle. As long as he's willing to try, you'll be at his side doing whatever you can to help. That's what I'd want to hear anyway.

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