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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend suffers from ADHD. I don't know much about how it can affect relationships, and i'm not sure if his social problems are as a result of the disorder. He lies all the time, making up whole stories about stuff that so obviously isn't true, and he can get very agressive towards people (never girls). He also gets very jealous if i interact with guys that he feels threatened by, and admitted to being jealous when i was holding hands with a female friend of mine. He also has a history of cheating on girlfriends. Can anyone help me? Is this part of the ADHD, is it social problems due to insecurities developed while growing up with the disorder, or is it just him being a bad person? xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): My boyfriend just recently got help that is family denied him his whole life. So in a way we are learning together. He let me go to his theripist with him, and he explained a lot. First of all communication is difficult because of the lack of focus and wondering mind, which can sometime feel like he doesn't care or doesn't want to listen, this is not true. He may only hear parts of the converstaion, or forget what you told him all together. He is very disorganized, he can't remeber where he puts stuff, he is not very observant of his actions. He is not aware of his surroundings. He is impulsive, he doesn't think before he speaks, and sometimes it seems he is insulting me, but I know better. He also has high anxiety because of the adhd. Sometimes its almost to the point of parinoia. What I have learned is you can't take anything to personally, His intentions are probably good. But he is a social retard if you will, he doesn't know better. It really is does effect more then you think, it causes insecurites for the both of you. I wouldn't give up my guy for the world, even though its trying at times. The only time he has ever lied to me was to protect my feelings. Goodluck, I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, Angeldust17 +, writes (23 April 2006):
hey,i'd just like to say that it takes a strong person to stick by someone with a disablility such as ADHD though you never said how severe he has it as this would dictate which way one would view his behaviour. Social problems and angression are traits of the ADHD however it can become an excuse so beware. lying - well everyone lies but not everyone so obviously. ADHD sufferers do struggle emotionally acting before thinking etc. the jealousy is obviously very tiring and i agree with loveadvice+ that you need to talk to him about it. his past of cheating has nothing to do with his ADHD. he may have problems that often worm thier way into his life but he is still capable of making choices just like everyone else is. i don't think he is a bad person - just human! however try not to fall into the trap of blaming all his shortcomings/ problems etc on his ADHD because he's still capable of living a normal life and therfore acting as such.hope this helps x
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A
female
reader, love advice +, writes (23 April 2006):
 adhd effects peoples concentration so this could lead your boyfriend to have some social problems.
This is probaly the reason why he is so worried when you are with other people because he may find it difficult to understand that you are just friends with them, so if he gets worried again just calmly explain that they are both of your friends, this can help him to relax more when seeing you with others.
also lies are very common in people who suffer from adhd so just try agreeing with him and maybe asking some small questions about them (but not any thing that may upset him).
i hope this has helped
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