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female
,
anonymous
writes: When this guy asked me out in December i was weary, as i'd heard a lot of stories about him treating girlfriends badly. I confronted him and he said he felt really bad, he knows it was wrong, he was doing a lot of coke at the time and it made him into this crazy selfish bastard, but he's changed now that he's no longer doing coke. I felt his guilt was genuine and believed that he had changed, because the guy i knew didn't match the description people had given me, so i agreed to go out with him. He was the sweetest, most perfect boyfriend anyone could ask for. Then suddenly one day he phoned me and broke it off, saying that he was getting really bugged by his friends taking the piss because he was going out with a schoolgirl. Later i found out that he had broken it off so that he could go out with this other girl that he had flirted with while we were going out (He's a flirt but i never thought anything of it, it's just his personality). He swears he didn't cheat on me with her. They're still together, but now i hear stories of him telling other girls that he's interested in them. Was i totally blind in our relationship? Does it seem that he didn't change after all, and he was slutting around the whole time we were going out? I still love him, but there's a chance he may ask me back out in the next few weeks. I know i'll say yes, even though i don't trust him but i still love him. If we were to go out again, how could i help him to be more faithful? I know it's stupid to still want to be with him despite his history, but i know he can change, and i know i can change him (I've done it before in other aspects of his poor 'people skills') I honestly don't think i'm being stupid in solving things this way. I'm so crazy about him that i see past all the bad stuff, i know him better than most as he really opened up to me when we were together, and i know he's a good person under everything.
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female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (24 April 2006):
 the only person that can help this guy is himself and you cant change anyone. but it seems to me that he had made some better choices with his life, you said he has stopped using drugs which is a good sign, i think your letting his past get to you,maybe he left you because he liked you and was worried he would cheat on you too because of this attraction to this other girl and he did'nt want to hurt you so he stopped the relationship before it became too involved. what point would there be dating this guy if he does ask you out again if you don't trust him? relationships are built around trust, no trust = no love , if you think he is a good person why not just be friends with him for awhile and then later on revaluate the situation and then maybe see if it is worth going onto the next level.
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