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My boyfriend stole money from my parents' house. I'm not sure what to do.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2008) 16 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have found out my b/f has stole a lot of money from my parents house and lied to me about it. My parents know and wont let him in the house ever and are debating to call the police! I love him but I cant trust him....not sure what to do. Can anybody help?

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A female reader, xoxemilyxox United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2009):

Get rid of the scum, my ex boyfriend stole from me 6 weeks ago from my account, i chucked him out and called police, and taking him to court.

he wont change my ex stole from me once before and i forgave him, but this time was even worse. once they think your a soft touch they wil go for more.

he stole from his parents too and there jewellery and bank accounts.

all alcohol related, get rid of the thief before he drags you down with him.

i stil think i love my ex, but i just miss what i thought he was. hope this helps xx

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A female reader, Sophie-Lou-X United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

Sophie-Lou-X agony auntCan I share an experience with you?

After my mum broke up with my dad back in her twenties, she started seeing another man (who later turned out to be my step dad)He stole from her parents house, and my mum chose to stand by her man because she believed he hadn't, and so her parents didn't talk to her for five years. She then later found out that he had, in fact, stolen from their house, and he promised he'd never lie again.

Turns out, he's actually seen other women behind my mums back on more than one occasion!

Just goes to show, if he can lie about that, what else is he going to lie about?

It's hard to accept it when someone has lied to, especially when it's someone you care about so much, but I think you need to get out as soon as possible, before he starts lying about things that will have a worse affect on your life.

Sophie xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your comments

x

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

hlskitten agony auntHoney we've all loved someone that turned out to be a right little shite and our instincts told us to get out but we didn't. Its no better when the end comes later on, which it inveriably will. But you do need to get your head round this one yourself. No one else can tell you what to do. Either way is going to be a tough road you will go down for a bit. Be it sooner, or later.

C xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

I'm not going to force you breaking up with him, merely get you to ask yourself questions.

So ask yourself this; do you want to be with someone who lies to you and steals from your family?

I know its hard because the longer your with someone, the harder it is. But you could reduce yourself to friends?! If not I mean, you do deserve better.

It is a very difficult situation...and I'm sorry I can't give you a simple answer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hlskitten - thanks very wise words and will take them into consideration. At the moment it doesnt make sense as he does have a job at the moment.

Gecko12 - with the question about future, love and trust the answer is yes, yes and no

I feel like I should break up with him because its the right thing to do, but I love him and have been together for so long - I dont want to loose that...tough decision

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

hlskitten agony auntI'm sorry but ive got 2 kids and even had the change pot empty at times, but never even thought of stealing. Adults need to of learnt to a certain extent how to plan ahead and budget. If he isn't working, he should be. If he's got into debt, there are ways to legally get through it. If he wants something he cant afford, tough. Stealing is an easy option in my book. And says a lot about a pesonality.

But i'm a little older, and probably a bit wiser, so i understand its easier for me to say, much like your rents.

C xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

Oh okay so this is the second part to the original question...

Whether he should be you ex-boyfriend or not isn't something that is written in a book with an answer. Its something that isn't complusory, and you need to decide on whether you want him to be your boyfriend.

Ask yourself the questions of, do you see a future? Do you love him? Do you trust him? All the key factors of a relationship...

Does he make you happy?

He doesn't sound very nice and a bit manipulative in my opinion but what you do isn't my decision. Nor should be based around my opinion. Whether your parents go to the police or not shouldn't be decided by you and its unlikely that they'll welcome your opinion into the decision. Its likely however that they'll drop the charges if he stays away - which kinda forces you to leave him anyway.

But I am merely assuming.

You don't need to do what they say and what you do is up to you.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (7 August 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntAs the other aunts said, he should be your ex-boyfriend by now. The thing he's forgotten is that actions have consequences; and his choices were mad when he became a thief. I think it would be a valuable lesson to him if he were to go through the whole police procedure. That is, unless he's already familiar with it?

If there's no trust, there isn't any future for this relationship, sorry. You should be angry at him for ruining your relationship, not to mention taking hard-earned money. Only an idiot and a boy with questionable morals would do that. Your poor parents, their daughter is dating a crminal in the making! They must be so disappointed in your choice of boyfriend.

Good luck, I hope you've learned something her too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for your answers.

hlskitten - The thing is he isnt "a bad boy" hes the opposite (except for this) he has had a very bad time with jobs lately and has no money - he was very desperate and took an opportunity.

Hes given the money back and has regretted it ever since and is really scared - he wants to make it up to me and my family hence why i having a hard time figuring out what to do..we have been together a long time, which makes it even more difficult

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for your answers.

hlskitten - The thing is he isnt "a bad boy" hes the opposite (except for this) he has had a very bad time with jobs lately and has no money - he was very desperate and took an opportunity.

Hes given the money back and has regretted it ever since and is really scared - he wants to make it up to me and my family hence why i having a hard time figuring out what to do..we have been together a long time, which makes it even more difficult

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

hlskitten agony auntI am a bit amazed you're even asking. Your rents are probably wondeing what they did so wrong to have you grow up to fall for bad boys. Do you really want to be with someone capable of that?

C xxxxxx

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (7 August 2008):

kenny agony auntI think that your parents are right to not want him in the house ever again, and would not blame them if they did get the police involved. Personally i think that you should split up with him, you can do so much better than someone who pinches money from your parents. I mean this time he stole money, it could be something bigger next time like jewelery or something.

All the best x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

Any relationship with this guy should have ended the moment you found out what he did as he is a thief and someone not to be trusted. He is certainly not someone you should be considering staying with; that would just be completely disrespecting your parents and family.

There are plenty of boys in the world who would never even think for a moment of stealing from you or your family. Time to move on and find one of those kind of guys, unless you really believe you are low enough to go out with such a looser.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

You let your parents call the police. He has to learn that theft is not on.

As for you, you split up with him. How disrespectful does this boy have to be to you for you to see that? If he's willing to steal money from your parents what is he willing to do to you.

Tell him to call you when he gets his life sorted out and is willing to pay back the money.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntDump this low life, how dare he steal from your parents. No way is he good boyfriend material,not only has he abused your trust he has abused your parent's trust and he should be reported to the police.

Find a nice young man, who will repect yours and other people's possessions.

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