A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I was wondering what you would do in this situation?. My boyfriend sometimes doesn't call me when he says he is going to. This week, for instance, he said he would call on Monday, but he didn't, and he called on tuesday and he said "don't hate my guts too much, as i know i didn't call you yesterday" ( i think he said that because he knows that i don't like it when people don't call when they say they will ) and he said he would call me back later that day, but he didn't, and he didn't get intouch on Wednesday, but , he sent me a text message yesterday, asking me to call him. I had tried to call him in the morning, and sent a text asking if he wanted to meet up, but he didn' text me until the evening. I haven't responded to his text yet, and i think he should be the one calling me. Should i carry on not responding to him, and see what he does, or should i tell him that he should call me?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): Spades and ADDmireme, I agree. He could have sent a text message explaining why he hadn't called, and apologised . it desn't take long to do that, and it's the polite thing to do. I also think he has a lot of nerve tellng me to call him when he hadn't spoken to or seen me for four days ( now it's five days since i last saw him ). He hasn't tried to contact me again today so far, so it doesn't seem like he's putting much of an effort in. I will let him come to me. To the anonymous person who posted, i agree with you saying i should live my life. I'm not going to put my life on hold and wait for his calls, and i agree tha it would be better if he said he would call in the next couple of days.He usually leaves between 3-5 days before he calls me,texts me, or sees me. That's how it has been recently anyway. When we first started seeing each other, which was about two months ago, he called and texted more often. We usually seen each other twice a week, although there were a couple of times where we saw each other three times during the week. There was one time where we didn't see each other for a week, and another where we didn't see each other for two weeks. So it's been different all the time really. There were times during the first few weeks that we saw each other, that he would try ringing my phone between 4-7 times during the same day. That was when he couldn't get hold of me because i was busy and i wasn't near my phone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): NOOOOOO!! Dont dump him! This is so common, it's true men arent great on the phone, it's really not that bigger deal, so dont make it one.
The most important thing here is that he acknowledges that he shouldve called and didnt. If you are in a relationship where someone struggles to call, accept it, and call him. Or communicate by text. My bf does not like talking on the phone, not just to me, to anyone! Dont analyse it and come up with something like, 'he's obviously not that in to me.'
Me and my bf communicate by text instead.
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A
female
reader, Spades  +, writes (6 May 2011):
 I agree more with ADDmireme. It's not hard to say, I've been really busy. I'm sorry I havn't been in touch, but I'll call you when I can.
Let him come to you. Don't follow his lead.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): He's a nice guy and needs to learn to say I'll call you when I can. "Next couple of days".
Men are busy with lots of things and don't NEED to be on the phone.
Learn not to expect and do not ask him to commit just for the sake of calling or you will always be disappointed. Get your own life
I've been married 23 years
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A
female
reader, ADDmireme  +, writes (6 May 2011):
 It seems like he's playing games and you're not helping by going along with it. How often do you normally call each other?
I've been in a similar situation with a guy who wasted a lot of my time and always made promises he couldn't keep.
I dumped him.
I think you should do the same.
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