A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I just have a quick wee question;one time during an argument, my bf said to me that he has doubts with us as he feels like whatever he does, it never makes me happy ... after the argument i questioned this and asked if he meant it, he said he didnt and that he has never had doubts and its because he thought i didnt trust him (which i said at the time) and he thought that it would tear us apart if there was no trust. he said he was sorry and he shouldnt of said it and he was just scared that i was going to finish it there and then, he didnt want to be dumped. So we had another wee talk a few days ago, something completely different, i wont go into dsetails, but it wasnt about trust. He said he has had doubts a few times about us, and i asked him, why he said that as he said that he has never had doubts before, he then said "i know" .. then i went silent, and he said "this sounds bad, this sounds like i want to break up doesnt it?" and i said "yeah it does" and he said it doesnt its jsut that he has doubts about the things we talk about as he think thats through time that they will drift us apart and he really doesnt want that, i asked him if he had any doubt about us as a couple and he said no and that i am the best thing that has ever happened to him and to end things with me he would have to be really stupid as he has no reason whatsoever to dump me and will never dump me as i am so great. so i then asked again, "so you dont have doubts about us, its what we talk about? you think that they will make us drift apart" and he said "yeah, imsorry, im bad at expl;aining things"my question to you all is; is he really having doubts about everything?and the time before all of this when i said i didnt trust him, has he had doubts since then or do you think he was only doubting it at the time because he thought there was no trust and that i was going to dump him? he is quite bad at explaiing things, he will say one thing but mean another, and he often appolgises for this, we usual have a wee arguments about the way he has said things via text which sounds cheeky or that he isnt interested at tiems, but he is slightly dyslexic so i know that it isnt his own doing, what do you guys reckon?thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): Men start having doubts about women when they start to see traits they do not want to live with for example she's a drama queen, nagging, insecure etc etc.
Men want to date women without drama...Are you becoming a drama queen??? This will make you far less suitable to him as a future partner. Yes his gut instinct starts to tell him being with you long term could be one long littany of drama and upset...Who wants that??
What is causing all the drama?? What is causing your insecurites?? it is important for him to knw you trust him particularly if he hasnt given you any reason not to....No one wants to be with a partner with unfounded trust issues...If he said to you he did not trust you how would you feel???
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 May 2011):
 I think most people have doubts in relationships from time to time, it is just there mind wandering off and asking themselves if they are in the right relationship. Obviously when you both argue or disagree on things there will be doubts and also if you dont trust him well then he is going to have big doubts if the relationship will last.
Yes I do believe from time to time little things make him doubt if the relationship will last or not. But just rememeber this is not a bad thing and it doesnt mean that he wants to break up with you. By the sounds of it he is in it for the long run and he wants to make the relationship work so dont worry that he is about to break up with you. Good Luck.
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