A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well for starters i have a stepsister who is younger then me and we were close or what i thought was close. ive been around her since she was a baby. i have a daughter by this guy that i was with for three years that she kind of knew because of netrual friends.she would always call me when she needed help or rides so when she called me and was scared at a party and needed a ride i had my boyfriend go get her and take her home, i would of went but my daughter was a couple of months old and it was cold outside! after that night he would not answer his phone for hours not show up to see me or his daughter or help out. she began to tell me rumors that she heard about him or things he was doing wrong( i now see she was trying to split us up), it got to the point where i was starting to wonder if he was cheating. well a few months later he was all messed up and told me they had been sleeping together. its been a year almost and im having a hard time forgiving her, ive mostly worked it out with him, i think its been a little easier because he is my childs father and he was going through a tough time with drugs and has since cleanded up,i really beleive he is sorry. we are not together but still get along. i just cant bring my self not to hate her, when i did everything to help her and protect her, i mean we are supposed to be sisters. never in a million years could i do that to my sister. i just need help getting pass this and i need to no how to let this pain and hate out of my life, i see how it is effecting my life and my families. (i no kinda jerry springer, but sadly true) how do i move on and forgive her?
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Has she even apologised?! Why should you forgive her? She slept with your boyfriend and ON TOP of this, she tries to break you up?
Cut all ties with this girl, sweet, you're worth so much more than that.
I'm glad to see that your boyfriend is cleaning himself up and everything and if I'm very honest, I'm happy to see that you split up with him. If he wants to make it work, make him work really hard for you and don't let him just step back in your life. I understand that he was having a hard time giving up drugs and such but that is no reason to sleep with your step sister. There's no excuse for cheating. Make him work for you, hunny.
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so far for your answers, i have not forgiving him all the way, see he was addicted to pills at the eime(no excuse) and for awhile was always out of his mind, after this he cleaned up and got help. then he became a better father. i know i should hate him the same, but i beleive that he is sorry( by the effort he made and what he has said). but trust me there is still a strong hate for him at times, the only diff i have to deal with him. on the other hand, their are so many details that i play over in my head of her trying to break us up and making up stories and she came on to him first admiting that shes always had a crush on him(i no it takes two). when she finally told the truth it wasnt very heart felt, she would jus call my daughter the kid and say she didnt no wut she was thinking and she thought he could help her through her problems(she was going through some family problems) and that shes sorry. i have tried to cut ties with her mostly but since she is family it is impossible to avoid her always, ive made it clear to her that me and my daughter are nothing to her. i just now need to move on because this hate is making feel like a bad person and i do not want to scoop to her level(trust me i have thought of sweet revenge) plus its hard on the family.i dont like the person its making me.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Hi,
Honey I cant believe you have forgiven him, let alone her!. What she has done to you is awfull, and just the worse thing you could do. You said yourself that you would never do this to her, that is because you have respect and you are a decent person. Its a real shame that your sister is not.
I dont know how you can forgive her, I certainly couldnt if she were my sister. I would cut the ties with her. I understand that seems very hard, but if she can do that! what else is she capable of. Life is hard enough sweetie, you expect your family to support you, not shoot you in the back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): You can forgive her, pity her but move on from her. I wouldn't see why you need her in your life again, she dosen't derserve to be in your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): This is difficult for you I'm sure, but if you can forgive him, then surely you can forgive her. Time does heal all wounds and if she is truly sorry for the betrayal, then open your heart to her as well and move on. After all, she is your stepsister that you have known since childhood and he is someone that you've known for a few years!
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