A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneI'm going to get straight to the point and I hope someone can offer some advice. I feel my bf of almost a year doesn't pay me enough attention. We only get to see each other around three times a week as we live an hour or so away from one another. When I'm with him he's constantly on his mobile phone on gambling and gaming sites or texting his friends and arranging nights out and what not. He asks me how my day has been and when I tell him, he loses interest immediately and doesn't listen to a word I say! I've told him in the past that I find it rude when he does this and he apologises and gives me a hug and kiss and I get his attention again for an hour or so. On days that we don't see each other I text him a few times throughout the day to ask how his day is going etc but he doesn't reply for hours. I'm not a clingy girlfriend, I don't constantly text him but I feel hurt and sad that he can't take a minute to reply to my messages. An ex bf of mine was constantly texting me and calling me to see how I was and what I was up to etc and that really annoyed me, so why do I want my current bf to be more like that? I feel as though he's not as into our relationship as I am and that he could easily be without me.I'm not asking for constant calls/texts, I just want him to be more interested in me because at the moment it feels as though he really doesn't care!
View related questions:
gambling, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 March 2015):
 You are a filler for him. The second he meets someone who interests him more he will either begin to cheat and let you catch him or he will break up with you.
I bet you row the relationship boat more than he does.
I suggest you try this:
do not call him
do not text him
do not email him.
WHEN he contacts you be bright and light and cheery you are not MAD at him, that's not why you didn't contact him, you were just BUSY.
Answer any and all questions he asks.
Do not ask to see him or ask how he feels about you...
wait and see what happens.
IF the relationship is not progressing while you are not rowing then it's a one sided relationship and he is just coasting till something better for him comes along
In which case I would consider ending the relationship as its nothing but a time waster both in real life and in your brain.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015):
I'm a rmn ( registered mental health nurse ) and wise owl observation is so spot on . Why be with someone, petal who is rude and ignores you..
We can see you deserve more sweetie, not just the hour he gives to make up for all his mistakes . But you do deserve someone who thinks your his world and his yours .
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2015):
I'm a rmn ( registered mental health nurse ) and wise owl observation is so spot on . Why be with someone, petal who is rude and ignores you..
We can see you deserve more sweetie, not just the hour he gives to make up for all his mistakes . But you do deserve someone who thinks your his world and his yours .
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2015): Sounds like you're a part-time girlfriend. Out of sight, out of mind. Texting while he's with you is terribly rude, and you should ask him to shutdown his phone the minute he walks through your door. You sound like two different personality-types. He's outgoing, into friends, gaming, and other activities. You sit around waiting to spend all your free-time with him. He's soooo over the hour's drive, and you don't stimulate him like his games or his friends.
Not to scare you, but it's time for a serious talk. I think you've passed your expiration-date. You need to know where you stand. He seems more interested in his phone and friends than you. All you do is complain, but go back to the same old routine.
He's just not that into you, girlfriend!
So, maybe you might consider dumping him, flying solo awhile. Take time-off from dating to get-over loser#2; then get back into the dating scene when you've cleared your head.
Here's some advice for the future. Take some time to evaluate a guy before you commit to be his girlfriend. If you're too eager to have a boyfriend, you'll commit right-away. Not exactly knowing what comes with the package. In haste, you end-up getting only a smidgen of the things you want in a boyfriend. If your too eager or desperate, you overlook all the red-flags and deal-breakers.
Next time, make sure he's what you're looking for; before you hang your heart on him. You've got a lot of tolerance if you've hung in there for a year. My guess is he lost interest a few weeks into it; but you just stuck it out. You'll deny this; but after you give it some thought, it may register as more true than not. You'll say you love him; but it doesn't seem like he loves you as much.
Casually date just to appreciate companionship and meet a wider variety of male-types. The broader your search, the closer you get to the kind of guy you're looking for. If he seems uninterested in you, how long before you lose interest in him? Put your heart aside, and allow your brain to use some logic.
You can complain and force him to give you attention; or you can just let him go, and get back out there and find yourself a better match. Please don't compare one boyfriend to another. They are different people, and should be held individually accountable for how they treat you. If you put up with this stuff continuously, yet stick around for more of the same; you have to own some of the blame.
You can't call a guy your boyfriend who seems like he just showed-up, because you'd nag him if he didn't. You may as well be spending your time with someone you don't have to take an hour's drive to see. A guy more interested in what's going on with you. Seriously?!!
What's the point, if you have to make all the effort in the relationship; and he only does what you "ask" him to do? That's like dating a puppet.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2015): You are correct. He is not into your relationship and he can do without you easily. Therefore, you need to make that happen. You either try by being as snob as he is and reciprocate exactly whenever he utters sentences or, if you are not up for that game, just dump him. This is not just about teaching an arrogant ass a lesson but also about your inner happiness because we all want to be acknowledged and at least reciprocated in the same manner that we give. Females do know how to attach themselves even to the largest assholes out there and you are no acception so faster you disattach from this arrogant snob happier you will be.
...............................
|
