A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend seems to put everything before me - Football, cricket, golf, and worst of all his playstation. He spends hours on it - sometimes 7 or 8 hours in one day. We don't live together so when I go over to his and he spends this long on it I get annoyed. I consider myself to be understanding and appreciate that these are the activities that he enjoys doing but it annoys me when he doesn't spend a lot of time with me because of them. Some of my friends have told me to stop organising things around him and to make my own plans and he will soon start to make time for me when I am not at his beck and call but it doesn't seem to make much difference and he seems happy for me that I am out doing my own thing. I also moved 200 miles to be with him and have made friends where I now live but I still get home sick and do feel that he takes me for granted and doesnt appreciate how much I gave up for him. His life hasnt changed at all, I am the one who gave everything up for him and I feel like he just fits me in around all of his other activities. I have considered finishing it with him but I do love him and keep thinking things will get better. Anyone got any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies. I have tried that before but he doesnt seem to care - i think that just gives him more time to do what ever he likes. If i tell him how i feel, i try not to start an arugment i just tell him how he is behaving is upsetting me. He then ignores me for a week or so and doesnt contact me and then rings me a week or so later like nothing has happened. I'm not sure if he struggles communicating or just hopes if he ignores me for a week or so i will forget about it and everything will be ok... Other aspects of our relationship are great and when we do spend time together things are great...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You're in a good position to do something about this in view of the fact that you don't live together. Avoid going to see him for as long as it takes for him to realise that he's missing you. If he asks why you haven't been to see him tell him ther's little point because he prefers his playstation to spending time with you, and you don't go to see him to watch him playing with the damned thing.
Stand up for yourself and let him know in no uncertain terms that he's really pissing you off with his attitude towards you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): It sounds to me you've already organized your answer in your mind. Maybe you just need to talk to someone about making this transition; hence, you're here.
I'm completely in agreement with you: 1. Things will not change 2. If he isn't making you a priority today, he will likely not push you to the top of the list.
I know it is disheartening to arrive at the realization: "Hey, wait a darn minute, this person isn't sacrificing anything for me, and I've done everything for him I could do and it feels like it won't get better."
You know what's great? You have a choice, and I say there are plenty of males out there who want you at the top of their list.
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