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female
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anonymous
writes: My live in boyfriend is cheating with his ex.He says he's not cheating. Everything that I say is wrong and it turns into an arguement. Please I need help. I love him but it is hard to even think he is with her.How do I prove to him that I am right so I can have peace mind?
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reader, becky05 +, writes (18 July 2005):
You didnt say what he was doing with the ex so its hard to reply to your problem.
If you have solid proof, i would end the realtionship.
Ask him to stop seeing his ex as this is inappropriate now that you are together.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (18 July 2005):
 Why are you so sure? Have you seen them together, having sex or something?
If you haven't, then you're torturing yourself over a wild thought or a rumour.
Take a few deep breaths and approach this logically: If he's cheating, would you actually want to stay with him, even though that his actions would demonstrate his disdain for you? If he's not, then you must be driving him up the wall, insisting that he is. Both options are a pretty awful way to try to live.
You seem very sure that this is happening, so if it is, why do you need to "prove" it to him? He'd already know about it, wouldn't he?
At this stage, what you need to do is decide, first, whether you have enough evidence that your suspicions are true. If not, back off. Keep your insecurities in check and give him the benefit of the doubt!
If you have real evidence that this is happening as you suspect, then you either choose to stay with him and be just one of his women, or you show the strength to leave. Who cares if he accepts your "proof"? That's a non-issue.
From what you've written, it appears that you're very insecure and/or he's very flagrant about his cheating. Either way, your relationship needs some care. It won't survive the way it is, so consider getting some counselling to learn to communicate with each other. Ask him to go, or go by yourself. Even if you go on your own, you'll learn a great deal.
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female
reader, hopeless +, writes (18 July 2005):
Here's a bit of information: a woman's intution is normally right. Trust your feelings but don't let them get the best of you. Sit him down and demand the truth. Let him know he's hurting your feelings and watch his eyes. If you know him well you can tell by the look in his eyes.
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reader, Christie +, writes (17 July 2005):
Will proving to him that you are right give you peace of mind? Though you love him if he is cheating get rid of him! You do not deserve to be treated like that. You deserve so much better than that.
Are you absolutely possitive that he is cheating. He mgiht not be in which case you could be destroying a perfectly good relationship.
By the sounds of it you have already made up your mind that he is cheating. Talk with him and try to make it clear you are not looking for a fight, you just want to see if things are working or not. You need to find out for sure and make a final decision. Good luck.
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