A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend recently told me that hes bored with me and that i dont "challenge" him enough. After 2 years together he thinks we have nothing to talk about and that i mother him too much. i was shocked. I thought he was happy with how things were going. i guess i dont really have any hobbies or anything interesting to talk about so in a way hes right. I just work, go home and sometimes have dinner with my girlfriends. i want to work on things with him and I'm willing try new fun things to do. how do i go about this? will he ever change his mind about me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): thank you all for your advice..just an update; he offically broke it off. he doesnt want try work things out.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (10 February 2013):
 From your brief description in your post, you do sound like you are 100% settled in your life. You go home, work, and go out once in a while. It certainly sounds like you aren't passionate about anything and I think your boyfriend is trying to tell you that he feels like he is the center of your life. And to top things off you feel obligated to work on things which I think probably irritates him more.
In short, I really suspect he meant to say you were smothering him or he feels that you only do what he wants to do -- or you do nothing at all.
Why not take stock of your life and write down things you are passionate about: what do you want to do before you die? What's on your bucket list? What are your goals in life? Do you want to vacation somewhere, see something? What makes you tick? What do you do for fun? Do you want to learn something or better yourself in some way? Present your findings to your boyfriend and say "this is what I want to do"
Too often we fall into a rut in life and fail to see what else is out there and I suspect that is what your boyfriend is trying to say. Your boyfriend may have just changed your life -- for the better -- in that brief chat...
Take advantage of the opportunity to change.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 February 2013):
Most people are boring, but their partner is usually boring as well so they're content sitting there watching tv tigether.
A relationship that consists of working, eating, and sleeping can't be exciting for everyone.
The best relationships, and lives really, are ones that are nurtured, where there's always something fun around the corner. Shared experiences help people enjoy life, but they also help you to bond.
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 I think this is what they might call "emerging from the honeymoon period". I had this with my partner around 2 years into the relationship except I was the one having the crisis :P I told him I thought the relationship wasn't exciting enough, but I didn't tell him because I wanted to dump him, but because I wanted the relationship to last. So your boyfriend may be telling you so that the two of you can salvage this relationship before it becomes too unbearable for him. This is your chance! Not only should you do fun things with your boyfriend, you should also have some alone time with yourself and do an activity so that when you next see your boyfriend, you will have missed each other, want to be with and talk with each other, and actually have something to talk about!
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Hi
After that little speech I am surprised he is still around,sounds like a 'this is the end' talk so there must be something he likes about you
You can stop mothering him,that bits easy.What do you do when your TOGETHER,do you go out at night, do you have weekends away,or have you got into a rut?
Do you have any interests in common,say cycling or surfing?Is HE boring you?
You have to show him your up for adventure,try some new experiences with your friends,learn a new sport or language,or cooking,join a group of some sort that appeals to you.Book a break and go with friends not him.
Its easy to get into work/home habits especially in winter,most of my friends hibernate after work. But weekends everyone needs something different or lifes just a treadmill.Go see a live band or comedian instead of going for a meal...But do it for you not for him.
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