A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My Boyfriend said we dont click, but its not over?I have been dating my bf for the past 4 years. Recently he got an apart and i have been staying once in awhile until recently that i stayed there for about 2 weeks. I went to dinner with him last fri and i felt something was wrong esp when i stayed with him those two weeks. I asked him where he saw our relationship going, because in the past we have been on and off and have had our downs n i was getting worried. When i asked him that question he said that he feels like we dont click. It hurt me to hear that but i let him continue. He said he needs a girl that will keep him on his toes n bring him to that next level. In my part i have been very giving n always have been the one calling/ texting n making plans that he became complacent. He said that he still has feelings for me but that there is a possibility it wont work. So i told him its best then that i do not sleep over the apart and that we work on the rest of the relationship, esp the communication part. We just got to comfortable again. At the end he said its not over but when i texted him the next day he seemed distant. He hasnt said anything or called since sunday.. Just need advise if i should contact him, or just leave him alone for now and wait till he contacts me? Is it worth it for me to continue with this relationship, I love him but at the same time i dont know if he truly cherishes me or cares
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 If he's got a case of the "what if's" then he is seriously doubting your relationship..I say he still misses her. Ditch this guy, he has no intentions of working on this relationship with you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI confronted him about his ex and he said this
"I really thought I didnt when we broke up but im not gonna lie after i started feeling the disconnect I started thinking of her againgi think that just happens because i start comparingI dont want to be with her but the same way that i start thinking that we are not meant to beI start thinking about what if" .
Does this mean he wants to get back with her?
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 November 2010):
He's got till the end of tomorrow..generally it's permitted for guys to go 3 days max without contact. If he wants to work it out, he'll call, he'll show you effort. This isn't entirely up to you, he has to do his part. You shouldn't have to keep him on his toes, he's a grow man! Don't feel like a fool, as women we sometimes try to hard when we really shouldn't have to. It just shows that you care, but there's times when you have to back off and see his reaction.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea.. he hasnt contacted or said anything to me since sunday when i texted him that day he seemed distant.. I dont know when exactly I should contact him but I have to know if he is willing to work at it.. if not as much as it will hurt me i cant do it anymore.. and i feel like a fool for being so soft n trying so hard.. maybe his right i didnt keep him on his toes..
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 November 2010):
Oh wow..I'd say it's out of curiosity. However, I would be questioning if he's actually over her. That's a big piece of the puzzle. I would say this is the last straw. If you don't see an improvement or any effort whatsoever from him in keeping this relationship going or fixing it..then it's finally time to call it quits.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfor about a year.. I reealized how his ex gf who has a kid (not his) keeps calling him and texting him to meet up.. she says she only wants to be friends cuz they have known each other for about 9 years.. but for him to keep answering her makes me wonder.. Recently i found out she has a bf and my bf was on fb n under his hx i saw that he went on her page and on her new bf page.. why would he do that? is it curiosity? ive just grown tired of this.. its been going on for 4 years n he has told her that im his gf but i dont kno...
Oh btw last year we went on a break, he went back to his ex for like 3-4 months, she was the one that ended it bec he was not ready for marriage.. but it scared me to think that they talked about that when not once had he talked that topic with me..
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 November 2010):
How long has your relationship been on the rocks? Every relationship has it's ups and downs. I wouldn't necessarily take his comment as a break-up, more like "if we keep going the way we are then it's going to result in that". Well if it's communication you need to work on then I wouldn't go days without contact. I would give him at least 2 texts a day, see how he responds..and keep up visits to his apartment. But he needs to keep up the communication as well, it takes two to fix this relationship not just one. If you find yourself doing all the leg work then I would take a long hard look at this relationship.
...............................
|
