A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend of almost two years and I were watching a movie (Harry Potter) and I was jokingly saying that I would name our future son Albus cause he was a bad-ass. My boyfriend said it'd be too much pressure for a kid to live up to. I laughed and imitated a comedian (Kevin Hart) who we both really liked and related his jokes about a "dumb" baby. For those of you who have never seen it, the joke is that he expects too much out of his son (2 months old and not holding his head up etc) so automatically, as a man not accustomed to kids or fatherhood quite yet, thinks he has a "dumb" child. My boyfriend replies quite seriously that any "stupid" genes would come from my side. That hurt. He's already made some comments about my family like for example my cousin is a b**ch and although I also didn't like her, it felt wrong. We're interracial so I used to fear him looking down on me and my culture until we got closer. Now the fear is back. I was cold to him after that and I couldn't help it. I'm thinking: if my genes are so inferior, he does NOT need me around then. His ex has a masters etc while I'm just starting up college and not secure financially yet. I wonder if he's thinking of that subconsciously. I know there's a chance I'm overreacting but part of me wants to pack my bags. I'm going through so much right now and this is one more. stressor. Please help.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 March 2017):
 Honestly instead off going cold and keeping it to yourself you should have spoke to him and told him that what he said upset you. You both where joking about so why is it when he says something you get in to a mood? He may also have been joking, did you ask him? Did you tell him how you felt? I mean him calling your cousin a bitch is because he thinks she is nothing against your family or racist. You need to learn to communicate with him if this relationship is going to work.
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (10 March 2017):
 Typical Slytherin BF; only they would make insensitive remarks like that about your genes being inferior... Remember Hermione Granger of muggle descent; she was thought inferior by a certain Slytherin character for not being born pure-blood.
So what's your BF subconsciously trying to say about you, and which of the four houses does he best represent when it comes to accepting interracial cultural differences etc.?
A dark force may very well lurk underneath his joking? There's a big difference in joking about baby names and seriously stating that any "stupid" genes would come from you, your side of the family.
After he said this, I believe it would have been best to have asked him what he meant or stated to him that it's not a joke you find funny. Rather than leaving it to fester and evoke insecurities within you.
In may case, he's the one who exhibited having "stupid" genes not you.
Take Care - CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2017): Honestly from the sounds of it I dont think he was serious. He was using deadpan humour. You guys were having a humorous joke conversation about Harry Potter and children. He was teasing you. I would be VERY surprised if he was serious. Did you ask him?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2017): Sorry love but your bf is a tactless asshole. If he had said that in all seriousness then dumping him is in order. Tell him to go and find himself someone who can accept his stupid remarks.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (9 March 2017):
 nahhhhh, not the sort of person you want to consider spending the rest of your life with.
And a big whoopee doo to his ex having a Masters ... how does that reflect his genetics, is she his sister or something?
Pack your bags, I wouldn't bother hanging around with somebody who has such a low opinion of me and mine if I were you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 March 2017):
 Anyone who in all seriousness said MY GENES were inferior would be kicked to the curb asap.
So what if your cousin is a bitch? That has nothing to do with genetics. That's just her personality, how she chooses to portrait herself and has a LOT more to do with NURTURE than nature.
And his ex's Masters has nothing to do with HIS genes either (unless they are related....) Nor is being financially secure.
The thing with genetics is, YOU have absolutely NO say, NO choice in what you get from your ancestors. And you have ABSOLUTELY no say in what you pass on to a child. So for him to PRESUME (because he really doesn't know for a fact) that YOUR genes are inferior? That a bunch of bullshit.
For a guy who claims to be a "better" version of humanity than you, he SURE is IGNORANT on how things work. My guess is he just likes to take you down a peg or two. And I'd wonder why he thinks that is OK. One thing is a joke, another is to just be an asshole. And it didn't seem like a joke from his end.
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