| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend said I was "violent" while having sex with him today.I was just really into it. And he likes when I am aggressive and take charge.This is a good thing?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 October 2016):
 Violent is not a compliment. You should talk to him, maybe he wants to tell you it was to much but he doesn't know how to, so you should ask him did he like it or did he genuinely think you where being violent.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (5 October 2016):
 Violent isn't a sexy term. There's a difference between being super aroused and being violent. You should ask him if you went too far.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (5 October 2016):
 Hopefully it was said in jest referring to you getting your rocks totally off, if not then you may have a problem on your hands- unless invited and with 100% clarification as to where the physical line is drawn, violent is not good. I would suggest you do that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2016): Did he mean more active or resposive or sharing or noisy ....? violent is a bit tough as a word as it means a lot of unnice things.
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A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (5 October 2016):
 Agreed. We can't know what he meant by it, so he is the person you should be asking for clarification here.
For what it's worth, it's not a way I would choose to compliment someone. And it is not something I'd want to hear from my own partner about my performance in the bedroom.
If you're, say, the domme in a BDSM relationship, maybe it makes more sense. If he's terrible with words, maybe it makes more sense.
Ask him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2016):
 You should ask him.
Personally, I don't think violent sounds like a great compliment.
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