A
female
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anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend sometimes argue when we've been out or whatever, but his behaviour is worrying me. My family are very passive and non-confrontational, so my boyfriend seems mad to me! He shouts and I laugh because I'm nervous, then he punches walls and doors and throws things. Is this normal? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2006): I think he need a psychiatrist or a psycologist maybe they'pp recommend him to practise sports so he can sort of relaease his energy in more constructive and mentally nice way my father was like he would be all day working,sleeping, or upset and complaining he used to drink and smoke, her earned a lot of money and provided us with lots of things and material stability but we had great messes in the house, he broke a door once, a table another, some pottery... we would never go out in falmily without a quarrel we could never be happily quiet for more than 5 hours on a go, he had an important heart attack thant ended up in psychiatric counselling and tranquilisest together with diet, no alcohol nor smoking dear I would try to make hime change but not everybody is strong enough to carry on
my mother did as she is strongly catholic and she was a housewife whi wanted a non splitted family for her children, however it was difficult for her it brought her depressions and nerves moreover when she suffered from cancer, you remind me of her telling me nobody in her family would be that verbally agressive of would throw things, seriously you should really think it over before you get more involved, it's very difficult for me to get involved with a guy now and get almost paranoic about losing my quietness and independence if you marry and have children this will affect you all...
Good lu
A
female
reader, Tiagre +, writes (23 September 2006):
Maybe he thinks it's normal, but trust me, to the rest of the world it isn't.
You say you're nervous... do you possibly mean scared? If you are, you need to tell him that his behaviour bothers you and you don't like it. Try to be firm but not offensive. I would also stop laughing when he shouts, because he might think it's ok to shout if you do. When he's calmer, say that you think it might be a good idea to get anger management sessions as a couple (that way it doesn't sound as if you're putting all the pressure on him) and remember, if he hits you or hurts you emotionally that's abuse. REPORT it to someone even if he says he's sorry and won't do it again. 99% of people involved in domestic violence said that their partners said they wouldn't do it again, but it happened.
Also, it's not all his fault. If he feels out of control he might not want to hurt you morally, but do it on inpulse. THIS STILL DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OK. It actually means that he might be more likely to get out of control again and not be able to stop himself.
Take care honey xxx
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (23 September 2006):
 This is his way of getting his anger out, some people need to release anger in a physical way and better it's doors and walls than you.
Maybe you could talk to him and see if he would go talk to someone about anger management, my ex was very much like him and he went to a anger management course and learnt how to deal with his anger and how to control it.
Good luck :o)
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