A
female
age
41-50,
*ittarken
writes:My boyfriend posted his privates online, as his messenger picture. I don't know if I can trust him again and this really hurts. We've been together for 2.5yrs,(Sept 15th 2007) and have a 18month old son, Joseph, and I am currently 16wks pregnant.When we met, I was drinking quite heavily, and we met outside a bar. We had a rocky start, but have been living together for 2yrs,(March 11th 2008).I don't know what to do, as he doesn't seem to understand that this is a big deal to me. He hasn't said sorry for doing it, only for getting caught. I do love him and think we should go our seperate ways,but on the other hand, I don't want my children to grow up without theis father.What should I do?? Please help and advise me.Yours faithfully, Kittarken Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): I think your concerns are wider than this avatar pic. Yes it is totally immature - but that perhaps is the issue. You are about to have his second child, with all the responsibilities that entails and he is parading his privates online like a teenager. It is about what this says about his overall state of mind. When he should be concerning himself with the future, your future, your family's future, he is working out how to create the most dramatic avatar. Perhaps showing a picture of his "di*k" is appropriate - after all that reflects his attitude. Maybe that should be your line with him.... "It says a lot about what you are". I think its time for you to sit down and determine what you want from life for yourself and your children going forward. If you think this guy can meet those needs, hopes and dreams then carry on with him. If not, then decide how long you want to hang around waiting to see if he does. From what you write, mentally you may have already left?
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Its his penis and if msn doesnt have a problem with it its none of your business. I agree its kinda strange and a bit wierd but ive seen quite a few penis avatars I just hope thats the worst these guys are doing.
why he did it i dont kno but telling him not to do it and ordering him around wont make him stop. your issue shouldnt be the fact that he did it you should be more concerned with the why there could be some underlying psychological issue.
He shouldnt have to say sorry for doing it unless msn was offended by it and asked for an apology. who are you.
whether you stay with him or not is up to you but im thinking you shouldnt take this so personal
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 At first I thought he posted your private parts online, so I had to read it again. I started to wonder what kind of person would do this. Sense of humor? Being sarcastic? What is his relationship with other members on MSN? Do you know them? You have reasonable concerns about what other people would think, and why you should be with someone like this. If you express these concerns to him and he ignores you, then I doubt you could talk any sense to this guy. This is very bizarre. I have never heard of anyone breaking up because of a stupid avatar. If he doesn't understand why you want to go separate ways, then tell him you would quickly lose interest in him. His immature behavior is turning you off.
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