A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i dont know what to do about my boyfriend, he picks on me constantly and accuses me of cheating alot. we have been together 3 years. from the start we have had so mnay problems, from him talking to other girls but never cheating and then me ending it and him begging for me to come back and like an idiot i always did. well luckily after alot of hard work he stopped all the stuff with other girls about 2 years ago. well now he has developed this new thing, which is picking on me about everythinggg. EXample last night he asked what i didnt like about myself i said how my eyebrows are thin because i had surgery over one of them so hair wont grow there. he laughs and says get rogaine! and any other chance he gets like that he says something mean to put me down. i dont get it. he always says how im oh so pretty but then says stuff like that?? makes no sense to me what so ever. Not only has him picking on me got worse lately but now he assumes im cheating all the time.If i dont answer my phone he blows it up with texts and calls until i answer. If i hit ignore he thinks im on the other line with a guy. if im going anywhere while hes working he asks me a million questions about it. and he always says with your other boyfriend after everything. i cant stand it. please help. iv asked him to stop so many times and he knows he is hurting my feelings. its like he is trying to sabotage our relationship but everytime i end it he begs for me back. what should i do? will it ever end?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioniv never thought of it as a form of abuse. ill definetly take that into consideration when deciding to stay or not if he doesnt stop. most likely i will stay but if he ever got violent i wouldnt. when he picks on me i do stand up for myself and he quits. maybe ill mention counseling. thanks again everyone
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice. rainorfire, your right i do love him so im not going anywhere but great tip about the comebacks, ill definetly be thinking of some.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (13 June 2010):
and why are you with this guy oh let me guess cause you love him well so deal with it.
but to answer your question your bf picks on you because hes an insecure little jerk if you break up with him he will never get another gf ever.
but you love him so your not going any where so just start practicing your combacks
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A
male
reader, Opinionated one +, writes (13 June 2010):
He's a young abuser in the making who is looking for your submission on something he's hinted at. People like him can be dangerous. There is hope that he will grow out of it, but unfortunately without counciling it will take a lot of alone time for him to see his error. He is likely a bit insecure in himself and probably cannot figure out why a girl as great as you wants to be with a loser like him in his mind. The jabs at 'picking at you' are his way of trying to lower your self esteem and hence make you two equals in his mind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): I'm sorry to hear your problem, but from an objective standpoint you have an abusive boyfriend, and if you want to be a battered (mentally of physically) wife some day, keep a relationship with him. His picking at you is him exerting control over you, he may or may not realize that is what it is. Most likely if he loves you he will accept the notion he is being over domineering and seek counseling, otherwise, RUN FOR THE HILLS.
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A
female
reader, lovepeaceruby +, writes (13 June 2010):
wow! my EX boyfriend of 5 years is exactly like him....hes never going to change! You have to dump him if you ever want to be happy!
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