A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf have been together for a while! When we're good we're good but when we're bad we're bad! We have separated many times, well this last time I dated a guy whom has been nothing but a close friend, he listened to all my problems, he was my shoulder to cry on for real! When things were good with this guy I didn't give my bf a thought, but when things are bad with this guy whom I have come to really care about I always let my bf come back into my life! Why is that? I need some help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 August 2010):
 When it's bad with the boyfriend to the closet friend, but when things are bad you go back to the boyfriend. You're running to whomever will give you comfort and assurance...and right now you seem to think the boyfriend has it. All relationships have their ups and downs some more than others..It takes time to find middle ground, and it's easy to lose your temper. Now, it also sounds like you're caught in the middle between these 2. Can't keep going back and forth, because eventually you won't have either. A tactic I used when I was caught in the middle is to make a pros/cons list for each guy..Do you go back to the boyfriend who you have the mileage on, or do you stick with this new guy who went from closet friend to boyfriend status but he's a good listener. It really makes you think about each one, and then when you're finished it's clear who to choose. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (28 August 2010):
Serious relationships should be for good or for bad. So when it's bad, you and your partner need to sit down and work through it to make it better, or decide to go your different ways. Going back and forth between guys or being off-and-on with one guy is not the answer. If you seriously decide to break it off with someone, especially your bf who you've already separated from many times, you need to stick to your decision. Not keep hanging out or getting close again, because it takes time for feelings to fade, and it's easy to fall back into old patterns. The feelings and caring is still there, and being away from them makes the problems seem farther away. Remember, if you broke up, it's for a reason. And unless you can really say that you two have made progress into making it work so that the old reasons for breaking up aren't there, you should not get back together since it still won't work this time.
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