A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My question is what should I do? Should I stay with him or should I dump the guy? So long story short one of my family members is a police officer and I was talking about him, to my boyfriend whom I have been dating for almost two year. My boyfriend rolls his eyes and just turned his head. When I tried to explain the my family member's position better he said, oh I hate them they are worst than rent a cop and turned up his radio to drone me out. I felt really offended and disrespected so I just didn't said anything. He later tried to say he respected me and my family and that he didn't mean to act like that. That he had bad experiences with cops and that he didn't really take into account of who I was talking about. He apologized profusely and said he realized he shouldn't have just said the first thing that popped in his head. I told him that my family member does something that he would never in his lifetime have the guts to do and that him disrespecting my family member is like him disrespecting me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): Thanks everyone for your advice! Im going to just wait it out and just see where things go from here like everyone suggested. Its been a few days and so far its been going better. No more comments and hes actually trying to spend time at my house more. But then again its only been a few days. We'll see. I have a huge family wedding coming up, hopefully things will get better after that one.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Well he apologized and he sounded sincere. I think if you love him you have to cut him some slack. He probably won't do it again, especially now that he knows how you feel about it. Sometimes we have to forgive those who we love, even when they screw up.
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A
male
reader, Sex_counsellor  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Firstly it is not uncommon for people to have a negative attitude towards police officers or actually just authority. It sounds as if your boyfriend now realises his error and is trying to redeem himself. I think you need to accept his apology and move forward with the relationship! The chances are, he know knows how important family is to you and will not disrespect them or you again. You might both benefit from a family event such as a meal or day out so he can get to know your family better and understand that your relationship with them is as important is your relationship with him!
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (24 May 2011):
 My first reaction was to suggest you move on, but really that was almost more because he would actually make a snarky comment then turn his radio up to drown you out. That was disrespectful to you right at that moment, not to mention that additional disrespect to your family member.
But after a little consideration, and because you mentioned that he apologized profusely, I think you should at least give him a little credit.
Fact is, assholes are assholes. Inconsiderate and selfish people almost never change because they don't even see their own actions as inconsiderate and selfish. These are people to AVOID.
I say that to say this, if that is the kind of person he is, it won't take long at all for his true colors to come out. So, let give him another chance and try to be objective. And then let him hang himself with his own actions if his apology was not sincere.
I can say this with absolute surety, I am not necessarily a "nice guy", but I do have four sisters, so I am respectful to women. I would NEVER treat a women that way early on in a relationship. And I say early on because once you have been together a while, there could be more factors involved, or it could be a joking manner that you weren't used to before.
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