A
female
age
30-35,
*maya153
writes: My boyfriend of a year and a half looks up pictures of half naked girls online. I found out through his Facebook page, because he left it open once and every page he had been on was like all pictures of sexy half naked women. My boyfriend loves me and I love him and we're planning a future together, we want to be together forever. He says I'm the most beautiful, the sexiest girl in the world, and I know that I am attractive but now when he says these things I just feel sick and I can't believe him anymore. I know guys do this, but if he really thought I was the most beautiful girl ever he shouldn't need to do these things right? I know he masturbates when I'm not there, and now I feel like it's these girls that he fantasizes about and not me, like he finds them more attractive and would prefer to be having sex with them. This is the man I want to be with forever, but I just can't get over this, and it's made my self-esteem hit an all time low.He also has a couple of sexy pictures of me, so I don't understand why he needs to look at other girls in their underwear when he could look at the girl he claims to love!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): I have to disagree with the previous statements. I absolutely think that your feelings are valid, and that it can be a hurtful experience to see your man blatantly pleasuring himself looking at other women. Been there, done that. Tried to get over it, but you know what? I couldn't. If your relationship means something to him, then he will be willing to at least talk to you about it. You cannot control his fantasies, or anything else he does, but you should be free to express your distaste in it. You shouldn't have to just feel "grateful", like some obedient girl that most men would like you to be. No. Just have a grown-up conversation about both of your feelings on it, and reach some sort of middle ground where you are BOTH happy, not just him.
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (16 November 2013):
 If he loves you and you love him what is the problem?! I'm sure he could list a few things he isn't that keen on you doing either. If a man didn't look at any pics or porn or masturbate or anything then I'd be suspicious!! Enjoy your relationship and let it go.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (16 November 2013):
 Well I look most men look it call fantasy thats all If he has pictures of you he will use those also. its a different feeling or vibe with the person you dating compared to a fantasy man or women. I tend to look at porn and pictures cause Im not with anybody so to speak and if so Im last to know of it lol. I dont have them on Facebook just on computer. Every night or day Im alone will be a chance to review very good looking women online and I enjoy women cause I like women and Im a women ha. People desire different visual your pictures are most likely not as over the top as these other women. Dont worry do what you suppose to and everthing will be alright. I wouldn't be to alarm either if he is not looking while you in the same room and bed with him. I would find out if you are really physically attractive to him you mentiined it but do it for you own knowledge.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): Guys will always look at girls and you'll be able to have a much happier relationship (and life) if you can accept this sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): I'm going to be blunt: sounds like you REALLY like to play victim here and that there's a bit of manipulative entitlement thrown in too. No, you aren't going to be the only girl he fantasizes about. Those half-naked girls he looks at don't have opinions, they don't talk, and they represent someone he can think about only on a sexual level with no consequence. Any way he wants, anything he dreams of ... they offer it. Now. If he were constantly going to strip clubs or seeing hookers or something, I could see the problem. But you're talking about photographs. Photographs that don't set boundaries. Photographs that don't think they're so "all that" that he has to look no further. It's not your self-esteem that's taking a hit, it's your pride. He's clearly not hiding it and again, they're PHOTOGRAPHS. You really need to get over yourself and be grateful that's all it is.
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