A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I guess I just want an opinion on my actions.Basically there's a teacher at my college who is extremely friendly. But sometimes it's just too much. Once he learns your name he will try to say "Hi" whenever he sees you. His department is in the same building as the department I work at, so I tend to see him more often than I'd like. It's come to the point that I dread seeing him. I know I sound like an awful person, but have you ever had that person who just pesters you? I try to avoid him if I can. To show an example of his pestering: I was in a classroom about 10 minutes before class started so I was listening to my ipod. Now I've come to notice that I can glance at people without actually acknowledging that they're someone I know unless I actually look for a few seconds. So when I was in the room, I happened to glance up at the doorway but immediately looked back down because I caught a glimpse of him. So I thought I made it look like I hadn't seen him and tried to ignore him making it seem like I couldn't hear him through my headphones but I could see him hanging around through the corner of my eye. Suddenly I got a tap on the shoulder from the girl next to me and she pointed to the doorway so I had no choice but to look up and wave at him.Now I know it seems like I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but seriously? He took the time to get someone's attention simply so he could wave at me...A normal person would just be like "huh, oh well, not important. I'll just be on my way."Part of it I think is my personality. I'm a very shy person and don't talk to teachers often. Most of the time I prefer to just be alone too. So when he sees me and wants to start conversing with me, I tense up and panic. In my mind I just want to run away and be off on my own. And to be honest I'm ashamed of how I'm acting. I know I'm being rude to someone who's just overly friendly. Does this make me a terrible person?One detail though that I think could be affecting this, is the fact that last year when I actually had him as a teacher I ended up having a very weird dream in which he was basically trying to kidnap me and wanted me for himself. Ever since then I haven't been able to look at him the same. He gives me the creeps now. (I should mention he's really old...like 50 something probably).I don't know what to do. This feeling nags at me because I never want to upset anyone or make someone feel bad but I just can't stand it. Am I an awful person? Has anyone had a situation like this?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 November 2013):
 .. It does not sound "over " friendly to me. I think he is just being polite. He is, or was, your teacher after all, and- particularly in an American college where, from what I have seen, teachers know personally and not just by sight most of their students , I'd say a " hi " when you cross paths- a sign of aknowledgement - is more or less the bare minimum than he can do and also EXPECT back. Now, if you tell me that the guy takes every possible chance to stop you and buttonhole you in long conversations, that's another story - he'd be surely annoying , and possibly inappropriate.
But, if you find strange that one of your teachers wants to be greeted and he's not cool with being seen and pointedly ignored by a student who pretends to be too busy with her iPod to nod " good morning ".... well, the only advise I can give you, OP ,is, don't you ever change school, in other colleges teachers might also not be so easy going about it, they could take it personally.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 November 2013):
 You are going to have to deal with people like this in the workplace as well so you best learn to deal with it. Just curious, what is your major?
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