A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello! Really hope I can get some help!I met the most amazing man on holiday this year, and everything is fantastic, I love him to bits and he treats me amazingly. The only issue that I have is is complete lack of hygiene. We've been together for 5 months and at the beginning I noticed that he didn't shower, I'd see him shower at most once a week, but he never smelled bad so I assumed he was showering at work or something. Then I realised that was impossible, and he just wasn't showering, but again, he didn't smell so it just confused me but didn't necessarily bother me. Same with brushing his teeth, he never did it but his breath didn't stink so I left that as well.Recently though he just stinks, he's always got disgusting teeth with food/tobacco in them and he constantly smells really strongly of B.O. I can't handle it. His sister has told him he needs to buck up his ideas and I even said to him "you need to start caring for yourself, looking after yourself" and he said "you mean showering?" so he knows, but he's still not doing anything!I'm too shy to tell him to shower/brush his teeth, I'd get too embarrassed and feel horrifically bad afterwards. But it's getting to the point where I don't even want to kiss him, I can't let him meet my friends like this or anything.We're both young and this isn't normal! Help! :(
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 August 2015):
 Just eww.
Who wants to kiss someone with a filthy mouth? Eww, you might as well lick his ashtray.
TELL him. "Babe I know you don't think it's a big deal to shower and brush your teeth, but it's a HUGE turn off to me. It makes me feel I'm not WORTH the effort."
I DO think it's a little typical for younger guys when they first move out of MOMMY'S house - they sorta do it in a rebellious manner - like mom isn't here to tell me to brush my teeth or shower to na-na-na bo-bo I'm not going to do it.!! I'm SO independent and grown up!!
They also don't wash their clothes as often it's more of a "sniff test" - "well I wore it a whole week, a little Febreeze and I can wear it another week!! "
YUCK
I know you say you are shy, but you should NOT have to put up with a pig of a BF. Come on now. Put on your BIG GIRL panties and tell him.
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (26 August 2015):
I would just tell him directly "you need to brush your teeth" next time they are in a state and the same goes for having a shower. It is disgusting and he should be aware of basic hygiene at his age. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, it is offensive to you and understandably so.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): I know it is hard if you are shy but I think you will have to say directly. This guy clearly doesn't take hints as he has already been told about the showering. You have been putting up with his smell so I'm sure he can tolerate you saying about it! I say this as someone who can be a bit dirty myself (sweaty outdoor job!) And I have had my partner tell me blunty to go shower because I am dirty! I just thought 'fair enough' and showered. Some people have different hygeine regimes but stuff like not brushing your teeth is gross. You do not have to feel bad about mentioning that!
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