A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 18 years old and have been in a relationship for the past four years. Recently, my boyfriend told me that on New Year's night of this year he was really drunk and kissed another girl. I asked him if anything else happened and he said, "no matter how drunk, I wouldn't let anything like that happen." After 2 weeks, I said I would forgive him as it was only a kiss. Then just yesterday, I found out that the girl that he supposedly only kissed is 6 weeks pregnant, but New Year's night was 3 months ago. She told a friend it was from New Year's night and she is only 6 weeks along. This girl knows that we were in a relationship. My boyfriend says he was soo drunk and regrets it soo much as he needs me and loves me and needs me to stick by him. I am soo confused right now my head is doing over time. I would really be grateful if anyone can give me some advice :(
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (29 November 2011):
 Good for you!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everybody sorry i havent been in contact in soo long lost my password...
Good news i moved on from the jerk and cut all contact.
Thank ye all soo much for your advice helped me a lot and is just what i needed to hear.. It has no been 7, 8 months sence this has happend and yes im only human still affects me sometimes but i would snap myself out of it asap as not worth getting myself down over. there is a lot more to life then leaving one person destroy it right!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 March 2011):
Well you can't get knocked up from just lip locking.
So the girl being pregnant isn't really necessary to the story, unless he slept with her 6 weeks ago. He just now told you about how he cheated 3 months ago, are you sure he isn't hiding anything else?
If you can't trust your boyfriend then there is no reason to be in a relationship with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (10 March 2011):
Sorry but no, that's not what true love is about. True love isn't one favour for another, it's a lot deeper than that. It also can't work without trust and mutual respect. If he's cheated then he's broken both of these things.
I think a single kiss can be forgiven, but if he has slept with her, that can't. It's the biggest betrayal of trust. Of course if he is a good person and was there for you, you could always keep him as a friend and you can be there for him in that regard only. If he won't accept that, then at the end of the day, it's better for you in the long run to walk away.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for your advice i really need it now, I am in 2 minds of what to do as he was there for me when i was in need should i return the favour and is that what true love is all about, i know im to young to be putting up with stuff like this but the story really dose not make sence x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): Has your boyfriend admitted to sleeping with her that night? If he has then he's a cheater who doesn't care for you as much as you might think. Forgive him (again!) and it's almost a certainty he'll cheat on you again. Considering he was lying to you about it being only a kiss up to this point (doesn't show much remorse does it?). Also don't be fooled by tears and how 'sorry' he is. Just remember anyone can say anything to get what they want.
If he hasn't then this girl's story sounds very dodgy. If she is really six weeks pregnant then it's just not possible to have conceived on New Years. In this case your best option is to wait and have a paternity test done to see if you boyfriend is the father. If he is, then he's been cheating on you for a lot longer than that one night.
If this is his child then he's mucked up his life and will be liable for support payments for the next 16yrs. If he wants contact with the child and you're still with him then that will impact on your life. Don't let him drag you down with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (9 March 2011):
 I think a drunken kiss is forgiveable, especially if he told you rather than just hoping you didn't find out about it. It's the kind of thing that can happen faster than thought - unlike, say, sex. But that's up to your own level of tolerance.
I'm not following this girls story. She said it was 6 weeks, but New Year's was 3 months back. Do you think your boyfriend has been seeing her since then? Or is she lying to her friend about it? If you clarify what happened versus what she is saying, that would be helpful.
It's certainly possible that the girl is lying about who the father is. No way to know until you can get a paternity test. She did lie about when it happened, if I'm reading your post right; no reason she wouldn't lie about anything else.
...............................
A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (9 March 2011):
He is not the right guy for you. I know it is hard after so many years but you should make the right decision. Move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): Leave him. Don't let him use the fact that he was drunk as an excuse. He made the decision to sleep with her, impregnate her and hurt you. He made this decision, he needs to face the consequences. You don't see murderer's getting away with killing someone in court for being 'drunk' nor do you see drunk drivers get away with their stupid decisions. Underneath it all he knew what he was doing and wanted to do it. Alcohol or not.Have respect for yourself and don't let somebody treat you this way.
...............................
|
