A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: It seems like my boyfriend never wants to hear how I feel, or what is it that he does that upsets me. Do you think I should break up with him? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (4 June 2008):
If you think he cannot be reformed and don't love him anymore.......
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): Try talking to him in terms of what do you think, or I think this, what do you think,.....guys do not do well in the emotional river that females swim in.....think of words that involve logic, not feelings and you will get better results and he will listen to you better, otherwise he will get frustrated and upset because all he will hear is that you FEEEL upset and he will want to fix it, and will be frustrated that he can't.
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle +, writes (4 June 2008):
It's difficult to qive advice without knowing a bit more about your communication styles - however, based on the limited info you have given I would say that you should consider leaving - if you feel like your boyfriend doesn't care about your feelings, and won;t talk about issues...then these are some pretty major hurdles for a relationship.
Basically, you should feel important to your BF, cared about and respected, and you should be able to bring up concerns and discuss them...yes, HOW you bring things up is a big part of it, but even if you are not communicating in the most appropriate way, your BF's behaviour is still not OK...
listen to your gut!!
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (4 June 2008):
Hi there, What I would like you to do for me, and this is for you to ponder as well, how can you have a relationship, a boyfriend, when he won't listen to you? This does not
bode well for a healthy relationship, it is always necessary, I feel, to respect each other, if you care about the other person, this is part and parcel of being with someone. So if you really look at it, what are you getting out of being with him? It sounds to me, I could be wrong,
but you are not happy with the situation. You should go out to a neutral place, have a cup of coffee or tea, and talk everything over, try to convey to him your feelings about the relationship, you are a part of this, he should want to know how you feel, as well, you have to listen to him. If you really want to be with him, try to talk it out. He may try to be more receptive, if he can, some people are all about them, no one else. If, if, he does not want to try
to understand what you need, then you have to make a decision, that is in your best interest. That it may be better for you to move on. Life is too short to be stuck in something that is not satisfying. You must be your very own best friend. Be happy. Take care.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (4 June 2008):
a whole loota guys have issues communicating, just like a whole loota girls have issues over-communicating. The best thing to do is to let him know you have 1 step out the door because he just dosnt seem to care. Be direct, dont use too much wording, or he wont hear you. Guys like it direct and simple. As soon as we start with "you know, I just feel bad about....." you have already lost him. Talk like a guy, he'll understand you better. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): Yes-it won't get any better down the road. One thing I have learned-dont let something like that go unnoticed bc they won't change in the future. You need to feel that no matter what, they will be there for you.
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