A
female
age
26-29,
*ocker_grl_96
writes:So I have been dating this guy for about 2 weeks now, but we have been friends since 5th grade. He's Russian and though he was born here he acts very much like his father who is a pure blood russian that litterally came 2 America from russia. So my friend kind of inherited the Russian attitude I should say. He's very dense sometime and for some reason never catches on to like common sence things that Americans do. But Like I said we've known eachother since 5th grade and we were close friends but in jr high we distanced a little, then in highschool we started being friends again. After a recent bad breakup where my precious bf of the last 3 years(off and on) cheated on me, my now current bf was there for me. He was very sweet and he know how to cheer me up. I really started 2 fall in love with him. Then after that my school had a talent show, I sang in it and came in 4th place, my bf has told me that 1 of the reasons he likes me is cause I have a beautiful voice, but thats the only part of me he's ever said he thought was beautiful. My last bf(before he cheated) always said he loved me and told me I was pretty, beautiful, sexy, etc. I just became so accustomed to it now I feel sad that my bf doesn't say stuff like that to me. I am not trying 2 compare the 2 but maybe if my bf at least said it once or twice I would feel better about my self. And besides that I am starting to feel like I am turning into an over protective, overly jealous, bitchy gf because I am afraid of getting hurt again like I did with my ex. I current bf is very friendly and caring towards everyone. He has a lot of friends that are girls and I know nothing is going on but I still feel angry and jealous about the little things. Like the screen saver on his phone. Its him and a girl who he says is a close friend and they are sitting on a bench with his arm around him shoulder. I mean she has a bf who she loves so I know nothing is happening but I still get very upset every time I look at his phone, mostly because he knows he is the screen saver on my phone but his is another girl. Also there is a different girl that will call him every 20 minutes and he has told her to leave him alone and I have even confronted her and told her to leave him alone but she won't. Now every time I seem him touching another girl, whether they are just walking, hugging goodbye, or anything like that I get extremely jealous and angry....what do I do? Just get over it or what? I am very confused, plz help!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): That's funny, I am American and while in Russia I found Russian men to be MUCH more affectionate and caring than American men. On America saying"I love you" is a big deal, on other languages there are different words for love and people are much more touchy and freer/more confortable to express their feelings.
This leads to women of other cultures not being as clingy as we American girls tend to get because we have this atttude of falling "in love" very quickly.
Men do not work this way, you have only dated him 2 week TWO WEEKS. Maybe he will compliment you on the future , maybe he is just the kind of compliment when HE REALLY MEANS IT. If you get dressed up and ask him, how I do I look? You can get a compliment and maybe tell him, "oh baby I lov it when you compliment me!It makes me so happy!" Maybe he will get the hint. But on reality some people are just shy and are much more spare with their compliments.
Two weeks is a VERY short time to start feeling jealousy, and being insecure. Try TWO years, and then this feelings my start to arise. Think about it, if things are like this now, they will be worse on the future because you will be CLINGY and NEEDY and EMOTIONALLY WEAK and this drives ANY man away. You will end up pushing him away with your jealousy and entitlement attitude.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 November 2012):
 First of all, I know many Russian men who are very affectionate and complimentary... your issue is not about a culture or a heritage... it's just how your current boyfriend is.
They call it SELF-esteem... it's not up to your boyfriend to make you feel good about yourself... it's YOUR responsibility.
Jealousy is an emotion rooted in insecurity. You do not feel secure with your current boyfriend. IT may be what he does, but more than likely it's that you don't think your current boyfriend loves you like you want because he does not meet your needs emotionally (your style of love is that you want to hear the WORDS) Do his actions says he loves you?
My husband does not use words to say "I love you" he uses actions... and I have had to learn to show him I love him with my actions... and listen to his actions that tell me he loves me...
There is a book called "the five languages of love" that explains how different people have different ways of expressing love or interpreting love signals.
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