A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello my name is Jodie I'm 22 and from Australia.I'm posting this question today because I am feeling frustrated with my relationship.My partner is 25 and one big kid.The problem lies in the way we argue about things we do not see eye to eye and hurt each other's feelings.He would like me to move in with him and says he wants me with all the time.And this is great but after a few days I find we start to get on each other's nerves one way or another..So I try to give us space I go and do my thing and try and think reasonably about our situation why we've been arguining ext.But he sees this as me pulling away and rejecting him or..something like that.He gets upset.We have had a rocky past and I do not feel ready to move in with him yet.He gives me such a hard time over this insists I do not care about him will not provide for himHe is a big whiny baby but I love him How do you communicate with someone who cannot see you point of view and is incredibly stubborn.Just to make it clear I have absolutely no intention of leaving him we are happy together.But I need space!! Without the drama.Has anyone had to deal with this kind of guy before how can I make him understand..i might as well be speaking dolphin for all the sense I'm making to him...thanks for reading cheers jod :) and please polite replies only Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2015): hi jodie i am sorry to break the news to you that this kind of guy rarely changes.It may seem fascinatingly interesting to you how he can be the person he is and in other ways he may be romance personified but he is always going to have this nack of throwing a hissy fit on you for no apparent reason.I should know because i am well acquainted with this kind of thing.I offer you only my condolences if you are heading towards a life with someone who is just too plain cantankerous to b with at times but as you are young and have your heart set on him i would like to congratulate you on takng him off the market as it were, so to speak..Think of the good you are doing for the world by putting up with this overgrown bully who is masquarading as a whinny baby and congratulations on having the kndness and tolerance to keep forgving him.You are going to find out that you have enormous hidden strengths and self determination the day that you find out he's cheated and thrown wobblers on you out of his guilt..Whatever you do,just dont be crushed.By then you will be in the habit of sailing on regardless.If you want kids in the future please remember that you already have one.If you think this is unkind thats fair enough so long as you keep your resilience and a bolt hole you will be ok.But i dare say occassionally you will mutter to yourself "cantankerous git!"Maybe in your case true love will conquer all..Meanwhile you are going to have a lot to put up with,rather like a dog who insists on gnawing the furniture he will continue to gnaw at you...so toughen up now and tell him what it feels like to have some jack assed much loved idiot keep throwing the toys out of the playpen.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (18 November 2015):
 What you are already doing is probably the right strategy. Go and do your own thing when you need to.
Like all 'whiny babies' he is going to try and manipulate you to get his own way. He won't hear your point of view because he doesn't want to. Life has taught him that if he keeps behaving as he is he will eventually get what he wants.
What he craves is someone to move in, keep house for him, and tend his needs. And he expects you to fill that role. However quite honestly that doesn't sound like you.
By being your own person you can maintain your independence. You aren't his mother. If he wants you, he needs to accept who you are and not expect you to change to accommodate his demands.
Keep him on the back foot by meeting up on your terms. Never pander to psychological bullies.
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