A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How you.I've been in love with my Girlfriend for 11yers now and we both 24years.after frst time she cheated on me she change,even simple things lik taking a walk or just seat together and talk as couple it does nt happen any more.and I miss her evry day..but she never cared unless sh only miss me then she'll share her feeling with me.we use to hav sex lik 3 to 4 time a week bfr she cheated on but after it only happens ones or twice a month.I fight with her every time we must hav sex even when its that ones day in a month..I end up forcing her.which I hate.I don't knw what to do..she just never wanna do anthing I ask with me unless its what she wants.and she always need me around her all the time but when am with her its like I don't exist any more like am not ther.what should I do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2015): It sounds like she fell in love, with the guy she cheated with, an he dumped her, after he got what he wanted, she's back with you to comfort her, sorry, she is just using you, cause she's hurting, I know, all about that, it happened to me
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (18 November 2015):
 Sounds like you are being taken for granted to some degree. What I mean by that is when you say she needs you around her but makes not effort she just finds comfort in knowing that you are a constant presence and thats it. For Some people it is easier or safer to stay with what is familiar rather than leave for the unknown. 11 years together is a long time if you are only 24 now. Which would make a lot of sense as to why things have become so stagnant. Neither of you have had much of a chance to explore all that being single is. For the sake of me detecting a bit of a language barrier in your post I will assume that when you mean forcing her to have sex means repeatedly asking till she just gives in? If not then what you are doing is actually raping her. Not ok, regardless of just how frustrated you are because you do have a choice and that is to leave the relationship. Equally there is no excuse for that kind of behaviour just like no excuse for her cheating on you. this brings me to think that being together from 13 has contributed to her reason for cheating. My advice is perhaps it is time for you both to go your separate ways. Meet other people and experience some personal growth. If after this time you find your way back to each other with fresh eyes and attitude then ok, but as I see it now its time to move on. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2015): The only thing I'm reading here is that you are forcing her to have sex. Stop it!!! That's rape and that's illegal even if you are her boyfriend.
As for her changing after she cheated it's obvious that you need to split up. Cheating is wrong but forcing her to have sex is a hell of a lot worse!
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