A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is leaving on a family trip to Europe tonight. He'll be gone for two weeks.He was just over at my place spending an hour with me to say good bye because that's all the time he had. He is getting ready so he can soon get to the airport.Everything between us is great. He's been in touch a lot and we have seen each other often and had a good week together. We've been together since June 2013.But he seemed a bit distant today. We ended up having sex. It was a quickie of course given the short time we had together. We cuddled and talked after but it was short. I just ended up not feeling close like we have been lately. I guess I expected the Hollywood version of goodbye with all the intensity and emotions and proclamations of undying love. But it was ho hum. He said he would miss me but he seemed distant or composed. In control of his feelings you can say. I am not sure if I should take it personally. I guess I am feeling down because I will be missing him for two weeks and I already do. I told him I am sad that he has to go away. And not too long ago I sent him a text telling him I will miss him and to have a safe trip and enjoy the vacation.I am just wondering why he seemed to keep his feelings in check when leaving. Why not be all over me emotionally and go on about how he will miss me?Was he disconnecting himself because he knows he won't be seeing me for awhile and that's his way of coping or not feeling bad about leaving me? Because he knows I don't like it when he has to go on trips away from me, including business trips.He seems to do the same thing last time he went away. He made that one an even quicker good bye. It's like he doesn't like good byes and finds them uncomfortable. Is that why he seems cooler? In past trips in the first year or so we were together he seemed to be more sad he was leaving me. But he seems to be able to manage his feelings better now. Not sure why the change?I hate feeling this way because I don't want to be feeling worried these two weeks that he doesn't care enough about me. Your opinions would help.Unfortunately I am a heart on my sleeve girl who feels things deeply. Maybe too much so?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 January 2016):
 I can only confirm what Honeypie says.
Come on, OP, do not exaggerate. You will miss him, and I am sure he will miss you , still.... it's 2 weeks total !! !$ days !!
And he's going on a family vacation, not on a study expedition among cannibal tribes in Borneo !
What was he supposed to do to show enough distress to satisfy you ? Break down and sob uncontrollably ?....
And do you realize that , for instance, in huge , busy, chaotic places ( think LA, NY, Rome, Mexico City etc.etc.etc. ) there are tons of committed, in love people ..... which anyway , due to heavy schedule and distance , NORMALLY meet up just every 7 or 10 or 14 days ?
If he was not all emotional and all over you as if you were aboard of the sinking Titanic, it was just because : 1) you weren't aborad of the sinking Titanic :) 2 ) he was a bit distracted thinking about the trip details, schedule, catching his flight, where am I gonna park my car etc, etc. - which is perfectly normal 3 ) because he knows you tend to be emotional, maybe a bit dramatic, in certain situations, and tried to balance that with a "dry " demeanour- so that you'd have less excuse to open up the waterworks or similar :).
Relax, everything is OK, and 2 weeks will pass faster than you think if you refuse to indulge in morbid ruminations !
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (4 January 2016):
I can only confirm what Honeypie says.
Come on, OP, do not exaggerate. You will miss him, and I am sure he will miss you , still.... it's 2 weeks total !! !$ days !!
And he's going on a family vacation, not on a study expedition among cannibal tribes in Borneo !
What was he supposed to do to show enough distress to satisfy you ? Break down and sob uncontrollably ?....
And do you realize that , for instance, in huge , busy, chaotic places ( think LA, NY, Rome, Mexico City etc.etc.etc. ) there are tons of committed, in love people ..... which anyway , due to heavy schedule and distance , NORMALLY meet up just every 7 or 10 or 14 days ?
If he was not all emotional and all over you as if you were aboard of the sinking Titanic, it was just because : 1) you weren't aborad of the sinking Titanic :) 2 ) he was a bit distracted thinking about the trip details, schedule, catching his flight, where am I gonna park my car etc, etc. - which is perfectly normal 3 ) because he knows you tend to be emotional, maybe a bit dramatic, in certain situations, and tried to balance that with a "dry " demeanour- so that you'd have less excuse to open up the waterworks or similar :).
Relax, everything is OK, and 2 weeks will pass faster than you think if you refuse to indulge in morbid ruminations !
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 January 2016):
 I think you are making way too much out of this.
He is going on vacation, not on a years missionary to Timbuktu with no internet or deploying with military service into the face of danger.
HE is going on vacation. Vacations are times to to relax, reflect and enjoy the hospitality of another country. See the sights, eat different food, spend time with family without having to worry about "hosting" them. And without having to worry about the people that didn't come with.
And it's 2 weeks. 14 days....
I'm not really sure what you expected of him, to be weepy? or dramatic? Don't make him FEEL bad for for going on a family vacation (whether you like him gone or not) - Don't spoil it for him with drama. I can't say if he was "disconnecting" but I doubt it, it's 2 weeks. He probably knows that YOU get a tad emotional and tries to "even" it out by NOT being emotional at all.
My advice keep busy while he is gone and he will be back before you know it.
Relax.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (4 January 2016):
Two things come to mind: He probably feels bad for not taking you along and thus tends to minimize the amount of time he'll be gone and the good time he'll hopefully have. Second, he could be very distracted by everything going on with this trip...dealing with the family situation, packing, making sure everything at home is taken care of for the next two weeks, getting to the airport on time, making sure he's thought of everything he'll need and so on. If I leave town for just a week it seems as though it takes an additional week of preparing for being gone.
Perhaps he is not looking forward to this trip and it has him a bit down.
Whatever the case, it does sound like you are feeling it too deeply.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2016): He's only going for two weeks, perhaps that's why
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