A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hiim so confused with myself at the moment, i really want my ex bf back we split 2 weeks today his choice, he wanted his ex back we where together for 8 1/2 months, i still talk to him and everything seems fine, hes now back with his old ex gf and deep down im upset still eventho i act happy,im not, well the other day i spoke to him on the phone and he said him and his new gf where having problams already and when he told me i must admit i felt really happy and in mind thought if it didnt work he would get back with me, all his family really like me and so does all his mates, and most of his family hate his old gf his now new gf, shes not a nice piece of work everyone can see it apart from himI even said ill him with the problams hes having with her as she doesnt belive we have split up,How can i try and get him back without trying to hard.i dont see him anymore just talk on the phone,HE already knows that i would go back to him if i could, hes consently on my mind, and i cant see myself with anyone else Plz any advice on trying to get him back without trying to hard
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female
reader, Ms.wayne  +, writes (27 October 2008):
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO THESE LADIES! They are not coincidently saying the same thing. Why would you want to be with someone who dumped you for someone else. This will not be the last time he does this to you if you take him back. And by him "knowing" you will take him back, he will definitely take you up on that offer but it will not be because he loves you and wants so badly to be with you, it will just be to have sex with you, he will just be using you honey. Do you really want to be with someone like that? He's a loser! you deserve better. If you want him back because of his looks or sex, trust me, there is someone out there that looks better, where the sex is better, and will TREAT and RESPECT you better. Hope this helps good luck
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (26 October 2008):
 All the Aunts are spot on with their advice. Never play second fiddle to another woman over this horrible pondlife.He upped and left you high and dry, when it suited him. Now he is having problems with this woman (TOUGH TITTY!!!), its his own stupidity and now he wants to crawl back to you with his tail between his legs. He made his bed now he should lie in it.Darling do not give this bastard a second glance, there must be a nice man out there for you who only has eyes for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): I'm going to give you advice you likely don't want to hear. When a man really loves and treasures a woman, he doesn't up and just dump her for someone else. Why do you want him back? So we know he's not on the 'same page' as you..right? That is a realization you need to grasp. Not understanding that has made you needy and lacking pride in yourself. Stop doing that. You have become entangled in a 3 way difficult relationship that just repeatedly hurts, frustrates or disappoints you. The reason you likely feel compelled to reunite with your bf is because you find it scary at first to face the world, without him. You need to come to terms with why you allow this? . The strength and independence that you can find through doing this, is so much more stable and satisfying than being with someone who will treat you like 'leftovers' whenever his ex-gf decides she no longer wants him. And it will happen again, hun and you need to be strong and move on with your life..without him or you will keep shortchanging yourself, to finding that one wonderful man out there, that will priorize 'only you' in his life. You do deserve to be treated as number one...not the girl on the "backburner" or the 'rebound' girl when things go awry with his other gf. This a guy that can't make up his mind about who he wants to be with.
My suggestion: Take yourself out of this competition. She can have him. Accept that it's done and he made his choice. I know it hurts like hell, but the sooner you can accept this-the sooner you can heal and recover from this situation. It's obvious your bf was not totally "over" his ex when he started dating you and the problem was inside him. It was not anything you did. I'm just sorry you got caught in the crossfire and you keep getting hurt, but you are allowing it. . Take this pain and learn something good from it. When you do find another person to date and spend time with, make sure he is over the "baggage of past relationships" and is not going to use you as a healing balm for his pain. Make sure though before you date anyone else, that you have fully recovered from all this. You want to venture into new relationships with a healthy, happy, confident outlook on life. That will be the most respectful, fair thing to do for yourself and the new man, who is lucky to love you. Be strong...keep your chin up and I'm behind you all the way, girl. (hugs for you) Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): No guy is worth your self respect or pride dear.He left you for her didn't he?He just doesn't love you enough.Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you,who's hurt you and has left you.Its really tough to move on.I agree and understand.It takes time.Please find someone who appreciates you and respects you.Spend some time by yourself first.A new guy cannot make you forget the old guy.He might come back to you.But he doesn't deserve to be with you.Please take care and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 October 2008):
Without killing her, kidnapping him and breaking his legs to keep him in your basement, you cannot make a man come back to you.
He left you for someone else. I'm sorry but why would you want to be with someone who could hurt you like that?
Don't let him keep you as his back up plan. You are worth so much more than that.
Walk away with your head held high, don't follow him round hoping your mild irritation will cause him to fall in love with you again.
Good Luck!! xx
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