A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I started going out a few months ago before summer started.This summer, I was supposed to go to China for a family reunion for all of July, and he had to go overseas as well for a camp-type thing, also for all of July. Before all this though, we were constantly talking on Facebook about where we would hang out after we both came back from our trips and whatnot, and everything was cool.Then I left for China, and as most people know, Facebook is blocked in China, so we stopped communication. Everyday I thought about him and wondered if he was doing alright at his camp.When I came back, he was still overseas for a week or so. I went back to talking to him on Facebook, but it'd take him days to reply, and I'd often see him do other things on Facebook. His replies would be short and he wouldn't even talk about what he did or saw, it'd just be something like "Is everything good with you? I'm coming back in __ days" or something. I'd tell him about MY trip and all the things I did, so it was kinda weird. I thought maybe he was too busy with his camp to give long replies.Then he came back, and he still takes days (sometimes weeks) to reply. Then on Facebook I see that he's started a conversation with a girl he met at camp, and he replies to her within hours. They joke and talk about meeting again and stuff.And he still hasn't replied to me.Is he cheating on me? Should I break up with him?Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): I wouldn't break up with him until you're 100% certain that something's going on between them, or that he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Although his delays in reply and their brevity aren't the most promising of signs, it doesn't sound like anything's actually happened between himself and this girl (yet). Perhaps you still have time to get things back on track if that's what your boyfriend wants too. Why not schedule hang-out times at one of the places you thought of visiting before your trips and see how he behaves towards you? It can be rather difficult to gauge someone's exact feelings when you're conversing online... face to face is still the most reliable (and natural) way to communicate!
If he's unwilling to make the effort to meet up, or doesn't seem as enthusiastic as before about your relationship when you *do* see him, perhaps you'll have to consider moving on. If you want to know for sure where you stand, you can of course ask him outright how he feels about you now - but it might not come to that. Ask him out somewhere first and see how it goes :) Good luck and take care x
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