A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so my boyfriend and i have been together a long time. he still has no job. hes not really making much of an effort to find another one. I supply alot of our entertainment money. He never has a problem using my money. Sometimes he shells out a little money to help. but most of the time the "bill" is on me. we have been together long enough now that i feel it should be 50/50 for us. under his circumstances i have given in alot. i never say anything to avoid conflict. is he taking advantage of me?
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female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (25 February 2009):
 I think he has just gotten way too comfetable with letting you flip the bill. Tell him you want to start saving for the future, you might want to do some traveling or perhaps one day you would like to consider having kids, or maybe opening a business, etc... I don't think he is with you because you pay his way, but thebest way to hint that you are not okay with paying for everything is to let him know you have plans with YOUR money. Also, try helping him on his "job search", even if you are not really helping, the daily reminder of "Hey hon, there is this company hiring right now, sounds like it might be a good thing for you" would be a nice, gentle way of saying, "Get off your lazy bum and help out". If he dosnt start getting the point, maybe having that talk about how good, solid relationships work well when both partners work as a team to make things happen. (I'm sure he'll say, "But I do all the house work!" which is usually the excuse of a free loader, just let him know that house work can wait, the bank account won't.) Good luck
A
male
reader, LampHead  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Sounds like he is using you, I'm sorry to say. You cant let someone take your money, and not contribute. Money is what we rely on these days, and it sounds like he's just using you for a living, an alternative to a job. I know it's not easy to here, but maybe you should get rid of him, or alternatively, have strong words with him about his situation.
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