A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:Hello. I guess this is probably not a very important queston but it's made me feel uncomfortable and pressured to change. Ok last Friday me and my bf went out clubbing. We had a quiet drink on our own first at a pub then met my mates in the next pub. Things were going great and we were tickling laughing and having a really good time. We went onto some clubs and had some drinks and a giggle.Ok we got bck to mine at about half 2. He was staying over mine and we sat downstairs chatting for a few hours. Previously in the night when we were at a club, hehad gone to get some drinks. He had been a while, about 15 mins so i went to look for him. I found him at the bar with a girl he knew talking. I went up to him and playfuly shoved him saying 'you took ages' he turned around and started getting iffy with me. He told me when we were at mine he thought I had been angry with him and then he goes onto pointing out all the negative stuff about me that I did that night, saying I was 'childish' 'inexperianced with clubs' and that he felt he had to keep a look out for me all the time. I got really upset and offended over what he was saying. I let him speak to his mates all night, I didnt follow him around. I went off with my own. Also he goes and mentions that my bag was inappropriate to take with us becuase it was so big and I should have been more suitable and etc. I had thought I lost my passport before we got in one of the clubs so just stood outside looking for it. He snatched my bag off me and found it for me. I was grateful, but when he gave me his 'talk' I just thought that he was being really unfair. He also said he was surprsed I didn't hit him when a girl had kissed him on the cheek.I'm just feeling very disappointed and have clearly found out how much he thinks of me. Any help on what I should say to him or how I should think about the situation would be much appreciated.Thanks x x x x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): He was stressed out babes, sounds like you two don't go out clubbing often, and he was uptight and worried about you. He was scared that you wouldn't understand him talking to another woman, he thought you would obviously get jealous like a stupid little kid. He worried you might loose something, he worried you might stand out.. He worried lots.. but you did nothing wrong. He just projected all his insecurities and worries on to you. Men can do that sometimes. They want everything so perfect, they want their women to have fun, so they get stress out, forget to relax and have fun, then turn around and claim it's your fault.You acted perfectly, try not to get upset, it's a stupid behaviour from a male. Just do what you did before when he was talking to the girl. Give him a kiss, say some silly thing like, ""ow, and I thought I was behaving fine, next time make sure you write me a Club Rule List". Irritating I know, forgive him, just keep doing your thing. You did just fine, he got himself stressed for no reason at all and now he's gone and upset you. Men!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): This guy is a jerk! Don't take what he has said to you to heart. He's an idiot! Who ever said he was an expert on Club Protocol? To go for drinks and not return, You find him standing there talking to a girl...is that his idea of class? I think you handled it very well, saying "you took ages" And as for Your Bag being too big...OMG! I'm speechless! Like I said He's an Idiot!
There's much better out there, don't stop searching! You deserve to be treated with respect.
I think what he was saying was that having his girlfriend there was cramping his style. He's the one that needs to learn the difference between clubbing with his girl and clubbing with his "mates!!!"
As I said keep your options open for someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Don't Settle!!!
Good Luck and God Bless!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 February 2009):
How long have you been with this condescending excuse for a little boy for?
I really would not be happy if ANYONE spoke to me like that, let alone the person who is supposed to like me more than anyone else.
"Your bag was too big" What kind of bollocks put down is that? Seriously? My bag is huge and it's great because I keep everything in it when I go to clubs.
I really think you have to ask yourself if you want to be with him if he is showing his true colours like this.
Good Luck!! xx
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