A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has been with me 6 months. A year before, he and his ex of 2 years broke up. His ex, despite our relationship, continues to contact him with messages plainly suggesting that they want to date him again. I asked my bf to cut off contact, but he turns it on me saying that I do not trust him. It is not really an issue of whether I trust him or not - I just wonder why he does not stop his ex from contacting him or tell them to stop mentioning their past and how they would like to get back together. He knows it upsets me, but does nothing about it. Is there any way I can get through to him?
View related questions:
broke up, get back together, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): 6 months is not that long, he is showing you his true nature. please don't take this lightly. It is disrespectful of your BF to continue to take calls from his ex whilst he is with you unless they have a child together and its PURELY for the welfare of their child. Any other reason is bull! He is indirectly saying I know it hurts you that my ex calls but I don't give a damn. because you obviously don't mean that much to me. he's being a jerk. What a blow to your elf esteem. Walk away from this guy at least until he cuts off contact with his Ex. Sometimes we women think we can change a guy by talking to him. YOU CAN"T CHANGE a man. Besides men don't respond to nagging. Show him he can't disrespect you by your actions not your words. the best way is NO CONTACT. But if you must speak to him. Tell him you are leaving him and really get up move out, cut off contact and move on with your life.
A
male
reader, Abass Abassi  +, writes (15 February 2011):
i really wonder why pple are doing like that? i will never ever make my gf upset from me for others, if i love her and same she does (love). these ppl are much cheap who dont care for the feelings of their partners.
i would suggest, just move on and dont be with that guy anymore. the reason is that he doest respect ur feelings and he is of no worth. it will hurt u for sometimes but am sure u will be more relieved in longterm (this is my personal life experience)
...............................
A
female
reader, bettyg +, writes (15 February 2011):
An ex is an ex and should remain in the past. If your boyfriend still wants to keep contact with her by receiving her txt and turning at you by saing you don't trust him. He just wants to keep her close in his life. He doesn't want to let go of her.
You should walk away from this relationship. You only invested 6months if you stay with him is still going to keep on going. Is to early to be dealing with problems and that is a sign.
You may love this boyfriend but his mind is also in someone else. Just bail. You will find someone else.
But if you do bail and he beggs for you and you decide to take him back you better put your foot down and tell him to stop keeping contact and to change his number because your not dealing with this.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Have you actually explained to your boyfriend how this makes you feel? I know you have asked him to cut off contact, but have you expressed your feelings? If you just ask him to stop talking to his ex, he may feel like you are telling him what to do, and so he will be less inclined to take your feelings into consideration. And even though it may not be about trust for you, he seems to think that this is what it is about.
I think you should try and talk to him about this. Tell him that you trust him completely, but you feel upset/annoyed/worried/etc when his ex contacts him. Make sure you emphasise that it is not about him - it is simply how you feel about his ex contacting him. Maybe that approach might help get through to him. But if he still doesn't seem concerned about your feelings, I think that is rather uncaring of him, and you may have to decide whether to try and put up with it, or whether you will not stand for it. Good luck.
...............................
|
